Keeping secrets from your significant other can be difficult, and at times, nerve-racking. Whether it is someone you just met, or someone that you have been with for years, the guide to telling your honey you crossdress is here to help! Once you end up telling the love of your life one of two things can happen. They can either be thoroughly thrilled and accepting, or a bit standoffish... meaning they may need a second to think about it.
Therefore, there are also two methods for revealing your more feminine self.
First, prepare when and how you are going to do it! Timing is everything. It’s best to reveal yourself when both of you are in a clear mindset, on a day off. Perhaps when the two of you have quality time together. This may also be a good time to go on a staycation together so the two of you would be in a different setting.
Method One: Ease your significant other into the idea. Choose a panty that has a little bit of lace, but still looks like a pair of underwear you would usually wear. If you aren’t quite sure what to wear, our Smooth Satin and Lace Panty would be a great choice since it still has a masculine feel with the feminine details you want. You can then pair your panties with a favorite bra and a pair of stockings, you can also add a matching garter to complete your whole ensemble. Your sweetie will still recognize you as you and perhaps they may want to step up their game. Besides, what have you got to lose? It’s important to be with someone that understands you fully with your femme self, and if they don’t, then the two of you can work on it by helping your companion understand why you crossdress.
Method Two: Go all out! Display everything that you get ready with. The wig, makeup, shoes, your favorite dress, or skirt and top. Show the love of your life how you put everything on to become your feminine self. Since Halloween is coming up, you can express your desire to dress as a woman, which would help your love to accept who you are in a playful way. Perhaps if it is your wife or girlfriend, she may want to help you since this is something she does every day for herself. We even have some new makeup for you to try out for this reveal! If you aren’t quite ready for them to know, our shipping is always discreet, so they won’t find out before you’re ready. The least your companion can do is give you a chance and begin to understand why this is something you need to have in your life.
Lastly, tell them how much you love them! Love is the most important thing, and this is why the two of you are together in the first place. Allow some time for your significant other to think about everything you told them. And yes! They will have many questions to ask you. So be prepared for those as well. This is your chance to tell them even more about yourself. Tell them how it all started for you and how you discovered crossdressing and that it is something you need to have in your life.
Are you still not sure you want to go through with it? Here are some statistics to muster up that courage to finally tell your honey you crossdress. You are not alone! According to Sister House, a popular site for cross-dressers, about 70% of their audience have said that they have told their significant other. The other 30% are still holding onto their secret wanting to share their more feminine selves, but are still unsure. Sister House is an excellent site to learn more about being a crossdresser and get some much needed tips as well as stories from men’s firsthand experiences with crossdressing and still living with their loved ones.
In fact, from a survey that was conducted in the 70s and then repeated in the 90s provided by Jack Molay of Crossdreamers, about 60% of the 1032 participants were married, and 66% had started crossdressing before the age of ten. In addition, the majority of the participants were straight men. About 80% of these men felt like this was another part of themselves to express. Most likely the desire to crossdress had developed long before you met up with your partner, and having to hold onto this part of yourself for so many years can be a bit counter intuitive. Since you accept your loved one for all of the things that they are, as well as any of the ups and downs the two of you may have been through. If anything, this can be another aspect to add to your relationship that can make your bond even stronger knowing that your partner has your back after all.
There is always the possibility that your love already knew that you crossdress, but just hasn’t been able to talk with you about it. According to the survey, 32% of wives already knew and about 28% were completely accepting, and nearly half had mixed views. So that is a huge chance of your lover being completely accepting while only 20% were opposed to the idea. It is a bit like a flip of the coin when it comes down to the odds, but in the end it is worth it to know that you are with someone that accepts you and doesn’t want to change who you are. Especially, when this is an important part of your life! To feel whole as an individual by being able to express both your masculine and feminine side without the need to hide it from the one person that is the closest and dearest to your heart.
If you decide to give any of these methods a try, let us know! We would all like to hear your experience and what had helped you to tell your loved one that you crossdress.
9 comments
I to have been caught by my wife of many years and she ‘freaked out’ so I am back in the closet. Its a pity as I know I look really pretty dressed as a woman. I have been thinking of packing up and leave but just feel so scared to do so, anyone else like this? lots of love to all, Peta
I secretly x dressed for 43 years now I m 50s . I told my wife because she found some of the things. She was confused but supportive. She said I love you unconditionally. What a gift. I wore panties for her she loved them. I told her all about my xdressing. She wanted to see me in a bra. I wore a matching set , she loved it. Now I get to wear when we are at home and in bed as well as around the house. If your wife loves you as she says she does, tell her when you think the time is right . Be patient have literature available for her. If she gives you an inch take an INCH. NOT A MILE. It’s great I feel so close to her now. She’s awesome!
I have been married a long time. Early in our marriage I introduced my wife to some male nylon underwear. It was pricey and I really didn’t like it that much. Anyway she was the person that suggested one day when we were shopping that I buy some panties that were less expensive than what I was paying. I didn’t need any encouragement. Within a few months I had totally switched over to panties. Maybe a year later she added a nightie and of course I was delighted. Over the years I have become more effeminate in other areas like perfumes, lip gloss, deodorant, body sprays and creams, all hair removed under my arms and legs and more. Even though I do not crossdress in the true sense I do wear other women’s clothes like shorts and jerseys. Sneakers, a few purses and footies etc. Around the house I wear cotton house dresses or cotton v neck t top dresses. Our inside joke at home is I wear the panties in this house. All of this has been a progression over the years. Some might ask are we husband or wife or girlfriends. On the outside no one knows of course.
It really depends on the partner.
Some partners are more socially/culturally progressive and open to different gender expressions than others. I had a partner who discovered a cute yellow-orange sundress hanging in my room, and she was having absolutely none of it. I had to make up a story of purchasing a birthday present ahead of time (which she bought). When she later discovered a nightgown in my bathroom, she was less willing to take up the excuse.