Support Groups for Crossdressers

While perusing the magazine section the other day, I came across an article in OUT magazine called “When Your Wife’s Bra Wont Fit You” by Chadwick Moore which talked about the underground world of support groups for gender diverse people and their families.  Specifically, the article featured the New York-based group Crossdressers International (CDI) - a members only support group that works in tandem with Miss Vera’s Finishing School for Boys Who Want to Be Girls.  Ironically, the academy is run by a woman named Veronica Vera who operates the school out of her Chelsea apartment.  


Part of Miss Vera’s mission is to “help wives understand and embrace their husbands’ cross-dressing desires.” The academy also offers a locker room so that closeted crossdressers and people in transition can come together to get dolled up, get make-up and wig lessons, practice walking in heels, or just relax in peace.  Anonymity is crucial so real names are never used.  Essentially, it is a day spa for crossdressers.  

Similar organizations in the USA include:

  • CHIC (Crossdressrs Heterosexual Intersocial Club)

  • Over the Rainbow Transformations in Portland, OR

  • Carla’s Boutique in San Jose, CA

  • Tris Ess Crossdressers

I am definitely a fan of these organizations because, let’s face it, it’s hard out there for a crossdresser, especially heterosexual crossdressers who can’t seem to find a place in this ever evolving world that has to put a label on everything and everyone.  

We would love to hear recommendations from our UK/EU customers on similar support groups on your side of the pond!  Let us know in the comment box below if you are a member of any support groups or crossdressing organizations. Are they useful?  Do you know of any other groups?  Would you join one?

Until you have found your support system, Xdress is proud to be your outlet.  You can always rely on us for cross dressing topics, trends, and of course, amazing panties!  So, put on some heels, let your hair down and fix yourself a cocktail.  It’s happy hour somewhere!


I have been cross dressing off and on for almost 30 years. I grew up in a very strict mormon household and was always taught that it was wrong and immoral. My parents found my panties one day and sent me to the bishop to talk about what I was doing. I was sent to a Mormon counselor for counseling. He sent me to Sexaholics anonymous because my cross dressing almost always led to self pleasure. I ended up serving a mission for the church, but found a way to get panties while I was out and would wear them whenever I could. I ended up telling the mission president and getting sent home. My wife and I have been married for 17 years and I finally came out to her on our anniversary. She couldn’t have been more supportive! I was amazed. She told me that she didn’t care and that I should just be me. I have dreaded that conversation since we started dating and it went better than I thought. She told me that I could have a space in our room for my clothing and items and she even commented how cool it was that we had matching panties! It’s hard being a cross dresser living in Utah because of the church and judgements. I wish I had more support, but knowing my wife has no problem with it, is a huge step in the right direction for me.

Eric April 25, 2023

i have been endulging in the art of wearing womens attire for a considerable time – the thrill of the feel -especially sheer pantyhose against a lined pencil skirt or waist slip the feel of a soft white chiffon style blouse.
i also llove swishy underskirt petticoats too

micheal / michelle May 25, 2022

This is what I/we have needed. I have the most supportive loving wife. I “came out” to her about a month ago. I am a hetero transvestism if we are labeling. I’m a guy. I have no desire to be a woman. For me it’s about the feel of the material, how something fits and flows. When we were talking she asked all the questions. She would love me and support me in whatever I wanted and needed. I told her I wasn’t gay and wanted men. I wasn’t trans and wanted to be a woman. I didn’t want to bring other people in to our bed. I just wanted to be me. The real me who loves feminine things. I love the smells, the softness, the touch of femininity. I’m normal guy hairy, and she asks me to stay that way. We have had the best time dress & pantie shopping. The sales people seem to know when we buy two of the same thing in different sizes. Her style is way different than mine, but she knows what I like and can dress me to a T. We have had the best sex of our lives the last few weeks and it’s only getting better. I love this time in my life and the women who is with me on the journey. I have became a better husband, father, lover, and friend because I embraced who I was and included her. I keep telling her one day I’ll work up the nerve to do downtown Nashville as a bearded dude in boots and a long dress. For now I’ll keep rocking my xdress panties and my maxi dresses at home. Middle Tennessee fun couple

Dude in a dress in TN October 14, 2021

This blog is very relevant to me as I am in the process of bringing out the woman that is within me for my personal well-being and possible relationships. I’ve been inquiring about the “how to” of looking like a woman. It isn’t easy getting the help/advice to do so in a small city. I want the complete look without surgery (figure, make-up, hair and clothing). I do have a decent collection of lingerie but want to have the whole package “in the look” and be able to share that with a SO. Ideally I would love to have a professional portrait taken of me as a beautiful woman in a long flowing OLGA nightgown. It would be a dream come true.

John October 03, 2021

I’ve known since I was 13 that I wanted to wear girls panties and maybe more. I’ve always wondered if I was gay in some way, or weird or I don’t know what. The first few times I tried on panties, they were my stepsister’s. The feeling was electric and I knew I wanted more. But at the same time I was wrestling with what this meant. I decided that it was wrong, at least the part of sneaking into my sister’s room to grab her panties, and after doing so a few times, I decided to stop. Later in my life, I dated a woman who wanted me to wear her panties. I balked at first because I had to be the macho guy but I was screaming in my head “Yes!!!!”. That relationship lasted only a few years and I was back to the desire to wear women’s clothes and the idea that it was somehow wrong. Occasionally I would break down and go to the store and buy a pair of panties and a bra. I’d wear them for 1-4 hours before taking them off. I’d keep them for a couple of weeks then toss them out again because it still felt wrong and I didn’t want to get caught. This went on for several years until my girlfriend and I moved in together. I remember thinking that I’d never be able to wear panties or bras again, and while this realization sucked, I accepted it. I never put on her stuff because I felt it would be a violation of her trust and privacy. Later on we got married. Sometimes I would dream at night about wearing women’s clothes and I’d wake up longing to wear them again. But a few weeks ago my wife and I were talking about sex and I just blurted out that I wanted to buy panties for me to wear. She either didn’t hear me or she didn’t know what to say so she ignored me. A week or two later I found an opening in our conversation to bring it up again. This time she listened and asked questions. Her biggest concern was that there was something else I wanted to tell her like “Oh by the way, I’m gay and want a divorce.” But there wasn’t anything else to add accept that I wanted her. No one else. A few nights later when I was at work she texted me that she had a surprise for me under my pillow. I had a few ideas what could be under there, including divorce paperwork. But to my astonishment, I found four sexy pairs of panties and a red nightie with a matching G-string. Since then she has taken me shopping and bought me two more nighties, stockings, a garter belt and several pairs of panties, a nightgown and a camisole with matching shorts. Last week she came home from a week visiting family in another state with a beautiful pink baby doll nightie. As I write this, I haven’t worn my “guy’s” underwear for three weeks and I’m wearing a gorgeous white nightie with the matching G-string. My wife is very supportive and I’m very lucky to have her. I don’t know if I’ll take my cross dressing any further because I still enjoy being a man with hairy arms, and legs (although I’ve started shaving my legs at her request) and having a deep voice. For now, I find this very sexy and comforting and have no plans to ever stop it again.

Jill July 16, 2021

Hello I am Rachel I am 64years old I have been wearing the clothes of my true sex which is female since I was 16 I hate boys clothes they are so uncomfortable all my girlfriends new I wore knickers and tights and did not have much of a problem with them really my wife of 40years bought me knickers and tights she liked me to wear when we were courting i use to dress up at home when we got married but when children arrived that had to stop but I had a very strong urge to dress as a woman and could not stop because I knew deep down in my heart and mind I was a woman so 35 years ago I introduced Rachel to the outside world I drove out of town so I did not meet anybody I knew I was very nervous and my appearance ie make up etc was not great but the next time I was a little more confident and with practice my make up was getting better every time till it was as nice as any other lady It is important that you are confident in yourself and look forward do not look down that’s a total give away to the public make sure what you wear matches and not clashes and do not wear high heels unless you have practiced at home as there is an art to walking in heels any woman will tell you they are not comfortable to use to walk for long periods I always walk in flats or kitten heels till I get to were ever I am going to let say a restaurant and then slip on my heels also my advice is do not drive in heels also a lady’s feel on top of the world after they have been to the hair salon so make sure your hair (wig) suits your appearance and look after it as hair to a woman is so important so make sure you get it right as it does not matter if you go to a lot of trouble
getting a lovely outfit and pretty shoes beautiful
tights + jewellery etc if the hair style is wrong or the wind has messed it up make sure you check it out and have brush or comb in your handbag to put matters right obviously you should also carry a mirror in your bag but it a lot easier to use the mirror in the lady’s wash room that’s another hurdle you must get over when you can pass as a woman outside you should have the confidence to use the lady’s room to me it’s normal to use the lady’s room all my life I have had a problem using public toilets as It felt wrong having to use the gent’s one day a lady friend accompanied on a day trip I need the lady’s my friend waited outside I went in but as I came out of the cubical there was a male cleaner in the lady’s wash room I was in a right state when I rejoined my friend waiting outside what’s is wrong with you love I told hear she burst out laughing because a man was in the lady’s but she understood how I was feeling I feel sorry for any girls who are not confident enough to go out dressed and have to stay at home as you are missing out on so much fun it’s lovely to hear an assistant say hello madam good bye dear excuse me while I serve this lady or go into a restaurant or a bar that I use regularly and they address you as hello miss or hello Rachel how are you I have never had anybody work out that I am a woman who was given the wrong plumbing between my legs and been nasty to be truthful if any one has spoken to me its nice things and how pleased a have not hidden my true self away.and I am able to be the woman I know I have always been my only regret that I could not afford to get
my plumbing altered years ago but I have known from about age 12 that I was mentally a female in the wrong body I wish I could meet people in the England Wales Scotland who would like to take there feminine side outside but need someone to support them

Rachel July 08, 2021

I 💖 wearing panties & stockings around my apartment & when I go out have fantasy of finding others like myself & playing dress up.. Is that normal.?

Jim February 03, 2021

I have been interested in wearing women’s clothing since I was a little boy. It started when I found my mother’s pantyhose in the laundry hamper many years ago. I’m now 45 years old, and I still dream about wearing pantyhose and high heels and I indulge in this practice whenever I have the opportunity. I am married now, and I brought this up to my wife many years before we were married. We tried it once but I didn’t feel she was interested and I have never mentioned it again. We’ve been together almost nine years. I don’t like doing this behind her back but I don’t want to be pushy and force her to feel obligated to do this. So for now I dress when she is not at home. I would love direction on how to handle this situation.

Michael January 13, 2021

Like many I began experimenting in adolescence. Today I have a loving supportive SO who also enjoys my cross-dressing, however it’s kept behind closed doors. We would love to socialize with other couples with similar relationships. Here in middle Tennessee, the buckle of the Bible belt, when I let my hair down or up and apply a perfect acrylic Mani and pedi socializing isn’t an option.

vanessa October 19, 2020

I wish there was a group in my area(Chicago suburbs. I would like to meet other men and talk about outfits and such. Some one who could help my girl friend understand I love her but enjoy wearing a sexy outfit also. It feels great to come home after work and slip into my lingerie and relax.

Jim January 06, 2020

I sat around for a long time trying to put this together, crossdressing and being a heterosexual. I am. If I was, then there had to be more out there. It’s always present though…if you wear panties, if you wear nylon stockings, then there must be something wrong with me? Yes there was something wrong with me. I had to believe me before it was real. The jump, the realization I was not gay-and I never did participate in any other than hetero activity-and that’s when I started feeling better in my journey. I would really enjoy meeting other crossdressers and making friends, my wife would like to talk to other wives and crossdressers too, and we need a support group here in Vancouver, Oregon USA.

Rusty October 31, 2019

I have over 20 years experience in the industry of hairdressing and would love to provide a bespoke service to anyone needing support/guidance with hair stying, wigs, extensions. I would love to help people ‘get ready’ for a night out. Let me know what people think. Tracey x

Tracey March 09, 2019

hi my name is Richard I am very new to this but I am looking for a cross-dresser to join me in teach me new things how to crossdress and see where it leads to I love wearing silky satin and PVC and more but just want to talk to a crossdresser see where it leads to a maybe invite them to my flat and try stuff on and have fun I live near Lancaster in a quiet village if you want to know more please get back

Richard December 19, 2018

Thank you Gigi. Sounds like heaven.

Ally August 28, 2018

It’s not a support group as such, but in the UK, for someone who is nervous and wants to go out in female attire for the first (or second, third or fourth…) time I and my partner would wholeheartedly recommend Scarlets Hotel in Blackpool. The hosts / hostesses are very friendly and easygoing and can help by booking you a makeover lady if needed. Everyone meets in the hotel bar before heading to one or more of the T-friendly bars nearby. It is very good value too, and the price per night drops the more nights you book.

Gigi August 20, 2018

There are a number of dressing service providers in the UK but very few places where you can go and be with other cross dressers in a relaxed atmosphere. There are gay bars but not necessarily cross-dress bars. Least of all day-time cross dress bars or clubs. It would be great to be able to sit and relax with others that share the same interests.

Ally August 12, 2018

A good support group for cross dresser would be having a private e-mail domain to communicate with other cross dressers like myself. So, I am more than happy to open my email domain: for any cross dressers!!! Please do get in touch!!!

Ni August 11, 2018

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