Good day, dear readers. I hope this blog finds you doing well and enjoying your pretties. I got to thinking about the difference between men’s underwear and women’s panties. Even the very name suggests a sharp distinction – for men it is underwear and for women it is panties. Everyone knows men wear underwear, not panties. Although, women can refer to their underclothing as underwear instead of panties. It smacks at that same double standard that allows little girls to do typically guy things, like climbing trees and playing ball, but a little boy can’t play with dolls.
Men’s underwear is a rather boring topic – you can wear tighty-whities, or boxers. Hmm, not much variation there. I don’t know the reasoning behind the design of tighty-whities, but they look like a medieval torture device to me. I haven’t worn any in the last 35 years or so. I tried boxers a few years ago, just out of curiosity. I found the lack of support unsettling, and at the end of the day I took them off, only to discover that my skin was puckered around the waist line from the elastic waist band. I donated them to a charity thrift shop.
I suspect the reason men’s underwear is so limited can be summed up in one word; stereotyping. If a man wants to wear women’s panties, the almost immediate response I get is 'obviously he’s not straight' The reality is that the large majority of cross dressers are straight and in a relationship with a woman, according to every survey I have read. To have a feminine side is not an issue of sexual preference. It is an issue of sensing oneself as more than a binary male.
In recent years, the men’s underwear industry has experimented a bit with design and type of material, but you won’t find lace or bows on those “underwear”. Oh no, that would be as bad as a little boy playing with dolls! So, while they have experimented a bit, onward still they trudge with very limited choice.
Contrast the boring sameness of male underclothing to the amazing world of women’s panties. The colors, styles, type of material – what fun! Until I discovered XDress and Body Aware, I wore women’s panties and enjoyed discovering all the styles to find out what worked and what didn’t for my particular form. The only drawback is that the gusset is cut for a woman’s physique and is too narrow to support the needs of a man. It was a good day when I stumbled across a men’s lingerie boutique called XDress. Wow! Panties actually designed for men! I’m sure by now I qualify for the status of Preferred Customer. Why, they even have bras designed for men. Who would ever have thunk it? Many years past, I had a choice of tighty-whities or….thighty-whities. Now, for many years, every morning is fun – what pair of panties shall I wear today. It is fun every day!
In years past, before the advent of the internet, I thought I was alone in this. If you are in my age group (as in cross dressing before the internet) I’ll bet you thought you were the only one too. If anyone discovered I was wearing panties, they probably would have hidden their children from me.
Well, we do have an internet now, and the fact that there are boutiques such as XDress and Body Aware certainly does away with the notion that there are only a few of us strange men who like to wear panties and bras. They wouldn’t have been in business for over 20 years if that weren't true. No, we aren’t just a few. We are the folks that like lace and bows and satin. I have an idea – remember when the feminists had bra burning parties? Why don’t we have a tighty-whitie and boxer burning party?
So much for my thoughts. I’d love to hear what thoughts this article might have stirred up for you. Let me hear from you. In the meanwhile, enjoy those panties!
Great blog, I would just like to add that we have to come a long way for us all to be accepted and comfortable about our choices, I personal love to shop for underwear with my wife or on my own, it’s funny how different people look at you if you are a guy going through lingerie on your own, personally I really don’t mind and find it amusing especially if you ask for help, I love to wear lace, silk fishnet and find it not only comfortable but very sexy, my wife doesn’t mind at all and encourages it especially for our nights of fun together but I think the problem is deeper.
I am a European now living in the USA, before we go to lingerie have you been to the beach? look at European men, most wear speedos, trunks, thongs etc made from lightweight spandex materials and very comfortable for swimming, but jump to most USA beaches, all the men wearing board shorts down below their knees and a lot with boxers underneath that, ?? I don’t get it, they stay wet for hours collect sand and are heavy and uncomfortable but that is what most guys believe is beach dress. Screw that, lets get sexy on the beach and get comfortable.
Anyway one of my rants but I am definitely in with the whole lets wear what we like, for most guys most of it would never be revealed but it sure does make the day better and our outer clothes fit better. A nice pair of silky panties under your dress pants is way better than a whole bunch of cotton wrinkled up with large waistbands etc, I know you’ll all agree that wearing a dress or skirt is amazing and very free and sexy too, I quite often in the evening wear a lightweight nightdress around the house just because it feels good after a day in the office constrained in my man gear, if we are all honest men were wearing skirts a long time ago in Scotland and Ireland but they just called them kilts and those guys were tougher than tough, also going back in history men wore nightshirts to bed as well and no one thought anything of it!
Thanks for reading my thoughts and I hope you all enjoy sexy clothes and feminine products for a long long time
Greetings, my dear friend David, and thank you for weighing in, and please know it is an honor to have you post on this blog. You and Kristina have contributed so much to us who embrace our feminine side. (Please give Kristina my fond regards.) Because of your courage to step out and offer what so many of us desire, we now have a society where we can freely express ourselves, both in clothing and in conversations such as this. Yes, American society is very slow to accept us, but it seems we are gaining acceptance in a very slow fashion. It is good people like you and Kristina that is helping to gain that acceptance.
It’s interesting that the subject of purses came into this conversation. I’ve openly worn a purse for many years now, and have never had a negative comment about it, even in the very conservative part of the country in which I live. I have a male friend who uses one as well, although he calls it a murse. I don’t call it a murse or a man bag – I call it what it is – a purse. That actually is the grammatically correct name for it. Wearing women’s skinny jeans, I don’t have the pockets necessary to carry everything, so a purse is a necessary accessory.
Again, thanks for weighing in, David. You and Kristina are so appreciated for what you do!
I’m going to keep mine more fun, than serious. My perspective is this directly: “. . .for many years, every morning is fun – what pair of panties shall I wear today. It is fun every day!” Exactly! I love BA and XDress, and have most recently found another new satin manufacturer that gears their intimates to women, but have accepted that there’s a close male customer that’s enjoying their products. For me years ago, it was a fetish. Today, its who I am. I look at what I’m wearing for the day, and put together the sexiest of panties, bras, and thigh highs that make me feel like a million bucks for the day! I’ve raised a few eyebrows at the gym over the years also! Of course, I revel in the shock factor when I get undressed in the men’s locker room, and my brightest pink or red satin panties are seen. It’s even gone as far as wearing some female workout gear, blended with male shirts and such.
All I can say is, do what feels the best, and the most natural to each and every one of you! I’m older, and have embraced my inner feminine, and love it! Thank you, Angie, for this forum!
Looking at the panty drawer and deciding which panty to wear today is indeed fun.Whether to wear a Satin, Lace or something athletic or a sluttier thong to let my buttocks feel my pants is an awesome part of the day. When a woman sees me, she doesn’t know that probably I’m wearing sluttier underwear than she does, lol.
My. First-ever panty experience i was 5 or 6. I was out playing and soiled my undies. My grandma had me put on a pair of my cousins nylon panties to wear home. I immediately noticed a very likable difference. I am now 72 years old and only wear panties as opposed to men’s undies. I also love wearing other women’s silky things like nighties and such. My wife of 30 years approves and even buys some girly things for me to wear. I’m a happy man.
I feel the same way, why is it that a woman can walk into a mans closet and put on his things from underwear to his suit and tie, walk out and go to work, but if a man walks into the women’s closet and puts her things on he is labeled as gay or transgender, it is changing but not fast enough for me.
Man bag murse purse
I use my man bag every day
I get a lot of pushback but also get statements like I d love to carry one
They are very functional
For dress up times i d like a coach bag or nice bag from the girls side of the store but haven’t had the guts mainly because i want to stay manly for my wife
I ll keep using my man bag i have several
One of my fav things to do
Wear a nice sexy bra panty set
Skinny jeans from the women’s side
A white blouse (black tank over the bra to cover it)
When home i put on my suede pumps, in public i wear boots
I would like to throw in my two cents (or pence) worth, as the co-founder of Xdress with my wife Kristina, back around 1990. I can attest that in the USA progress has been slow in gaining acceptance that men be as free as women to wear what they want. We started the company just outside of Bath in UK, as a side business to Body Aware, our European styled underwear for men. At the time we were experimenting with using different fabrics for men’s briefs and we tried stretch lace, and it proved so popular that a whole range that came to be known as Xdress (originally we called it Apres Noir) was born. There was tremendous publicity for our “outrageous” concept, that we had national press and television coverage throughout the early nineties until we moved the business to California.
The publicity was not necessarily all positive, but mostly it covered us in a light, humerous way. Showing male models wearing lingerie on the BBC and national newspapers seemed like a major step forward. We even won a “Best new business” competition on TV. It all came to a screeching halt when we moved to USA, and a very negative appearance on the Sally Jessy Raphael chat show was enough for us to realize America was not ready for men in lingerie and we declined any further TV appearances. So while the UK acceptance of men’s lingerie was almost instantaneous, it took a decade in the USA to reach a market of similar size to that of the UK. We persevered, and with the support of our many regular customers, the business is now on a firm footing, and growing each year.
Fortunately the tide is now changing quickly, and especially among the younger generation, there is considerable acceptance of brands like ours, and those who wear our lingerie. We have occasionally supplied lingerie for TV and theater productions, but so far had no famous actor or sports star offer to be the face of Xdress, but we are still hoping!
We recently opened a UK distribution center again and it has been amazing to see so many old and new customers coming to buy from us. We hope more UK and European customers will join in the blog discussions, to make it truly international.
Hi Guys and Gurls,
Great rant Nathan. Long but well worth reading your comments and thoughts. I am one of those pre 80’s born pantyboys. Thought I was the odd duck and guys would never dare wear PINK in those days. The good news things have changed considerably. I actually think things will change even faster now that we have so many ways of reaching out and communicating. Just look around. Perhaps it depends where you live but I see young men wearing very feminine attire, even women’s dresses and skirts, in public here in the Phoenix area. Makeup is becoming so much more acceptable. Ten plus years ago I was carrying a purse (called man bag then). Today many of us carry them. Recently my wife purchased me a woman’s purse for Valentines day. Fairly large and very fem but I can and will get used to carrying it in public. That would have never worked 20 years or more ago.
PS. I love all the things us gurls can stuff into a larger purse.
I agree with your comments Nathan. You are 100% correct. We have been victims of stereotyping and societal norms for too long. Maybe this will change, but the change is coming very slowly. An example-now it is common for men to wear earrings—myself included on that one. Also another way I have seen norms change is that there seems to be more men—myself included also on this one—carrying purses aka man bags. With all the stuff we have to carry around—wallet, car keys, cell phone, cigarettes(I am a smoker)—etc it just does not fit into pockets anymore. I will admit that I do wear make-up sometimes—usually on the weekends-and see other men buying it as well. Also, I have been getting my nails manicured for years.
I think these are some ways that society and the norms are changing albeit slowly. All it will take is some high profile male celebrity to start talking about wearing lingerie or a scene from a movie or television program to start a change in thinking. Who knows, maybe in a few years it will be normal for a guy to touch up his lipstick after a meal?!
A forum like this is great to share ideas and thoughts. In reality—What really is all the fuss about? It is my life and I am going to wear what I want that makes me feel comfortable and happy—even if that means wearing lingerie, wearing high heels and a skirt, carrying a purse, putting on eye make-up, touching up my lipstick, and getting a manicure. My mother did not mind me doing this—she actually encouraged me—and my boyfriend is cool with it also!
Just a few thoughts Looking forward to more discussion!
Hi guys! Let’s make an “International day of men in the panties”! In my opinion, a lot of men from different countries will join to us. We will celebrate this day every year!
You nailed it
Your comments should be our Anthem!
Thank you all for your wonderful contributions to this thread. Nathan, thank your for your well-developed thoughts on the topic. You are correct in saying that we are still a long way off from being acceptable to general society, thanks to a lot of stereotypes that cast us as a weird bunch of perverts. That is so unfortunate, but it is the reality with which we must deal. The media hasn’t helped us at all, and celebrities (whom I will not name) who come out as cross dressers or transsexuals only create sensationalism and do us no credit at all. All of that prejudice is not going to rob me of the pleasure of dressing as I please. A nice pair of matching panties and bra is something that brightens up even a rainy day! For all of you other dear readers, thanks for your responses. I feel like we are forming a little family here.
Another great topic as per usual, Angie. I’m a little late to this one, but I will still share my perspective nonetheless.
I certainly agree in that the very word “panties” draws a sharp distinction to underwear that is soft and evokes femininity. The very definition of them are underwear worn by girls/women. By contrast, boxers are defined as “men’s loose underpants”. However, women would not be shamed, laughed at, or assumed to be gay if they said they wore them. This is not the case for a man who admits to or is seen wearing them. Now the reason for this is simple. Most men never correct these ridiculous assumptions!. Instead, most men say something like “Oh, I lost a bet” when their panties are noticed.
My question is: Why not simply say that they are your panties, and that you wear them for comfort and breathability (or whatever other reason)? Then if they question you further (probably not going to happen very often unless you live in the deep south), you can politely state the have no correlation to your sexual orientation, in the same way it doesn’t for a woman wearing boxers. You can even add they are made specifically for men, if you’re wearing a pair from XD/BA. Hopefully, your girlfriend/wife will be there with you, and they can back you up as well!
The reason that there are still stereotypes is because too many men who prefer wearing women’s clothing, do not do it commonly enough in the world for it to be seen as conventional. In order for it to get to that point, more men need to NOT leave their clothing preferences hidden away from their significant others, and the world in general. It is loosely related to being gay or bisexual in the sense that it is part of who you are, and should not be repressed or rejected, especially by your significant other.
I definitely agree that a male celebrity proudly donning a bra and panties that is with a woman romantically would really be a great way to open up the eyes of the general public. Maybe a “Hey, maybe not every guy who wears panties is gay” lesson would be learned there. And of course, not everyone is going to accept that, but that leads me to my next point.
Women already laid the foundation for men to wear what they want. When women first started wearing pants, they were denied access to business and services, publicly mocked by media, and overall just mistreated. Does any of these things happen to men? Not at all. At worst, we get an offensive comment or another male who needs to exert his disdain in a base and primal way, by hitting them. The latter is not a very common occurrence.
So do we really need to burn our boxers and tighty-wighties? I think it’s a little early for that, quite honestly. What society needs for change currently is to see men wearing skirts, dresses, pantyhose, and high heels not just in public, but in the workplace and in media more commonly. I don’t think there is enough men who hate wearing boxers right now for any sort of mass progress to be sparked by a boxer-burning event.
We are still in the genesis of men wearing “women’s” garments publicly. In so doing, maybe more open minded men will see a man in a dress and high heels with a beautiful woman on his arm, and think that perhaps this man just does it because he wants to, and he obviously isn’t gay since he has a female partner. Then, that same open-minded man decides to wear a dress and high heels, and loves it like we do! Then it all spreads like wildfire from there. When more and more men do it publicly, that is when a mass boxer-burning event would be impactful. As men everywhere would then liberate themselves from overly-masculine stereotypes, and be seen as normal human beings.
I truly do feel distressed for the men who were born in the 1980s or earlier, as they have had to deal with more societal rejection and isolation, than someone such as myself who was born in the mid 90s. However, it is not too late to inspire change for a man of any age who wants to wear pretty clothes. So get out there, and wear your panties, hosiery, skirts, dresses, heels, makeup and whatever else proudly. The world is changing, but only when we all are not ashamed of ourselves, will societal acceptance flourish.
Anyway, if you’d made it this far into my rant, I thank you for reading my thoughts, and hope you apply the same thinking in your lives. Do what makes YOU happy. Life is too short to not be yourself.
Have a wonderful day, and wear something beautiful.
Gurls guys and all along the spectrum
It is the best IF the SO is involved. It creates intimacy like nothing else and its sooooo much fun! How cool is it to wear matching panties or have the wife lay out your panties or nylon clad legs rubbing together or going to a party with matching bra and panty sets!
When will there be national men wear lingerie day?
Oh to dream!
Hi, everyone! I want to say! Thanks God! I love panties!
Hi there Lovelies
You have to admit that Eddie Izzard has done a pretty good job for gaining acceptance of guys going femme. There are always going to be few idiots around who just can’t handle it – probably challenges their sense of masculinity – but I think things are changing for the better. Well done Conchita Wurst too. And James Charles. And have you seen the menswear fashions from Palomo of Spain? The world is turning guys. Wear those panties with pride and be your feminine selves! Step out!
I too love it when my wife comments on my panties or lays them out for me in morning and says I picked out your panties for you wear today. Also I like it when she helps me on with sport bra before workout that usually sends me into panty tenting in seconds. It is so very special to have your love one enjoy you wearing lingerie as much as you do. It brings a dimension to a relationship that everyone should experience. As to a famous spokesperson for the brand, yes it would be fun to imagine a star or sports hero representing XD and its customers. Maybe this could be a future topic. Famous males who wear or have worn panties/fem lingerie and those we would like to see as brand rep. Anyway, I think I’ll slip into my nightie early and cuddle up to the wife. Take it easy and be proud .. being taboo in societal eyes is exciting.
Place me on the GURL side of the ledger. And yes we do need a spokesperson. We should put our heads together and come up with a short list.
Ally, lingerie puts me in and keeps me in a feminine mood 24/7. Love the word panties as well. Always perks me up in all the right places. I love it when my wife makes a comment on my undies and calls them what they are — panties. My panty drawer is much prettier than her panty selection. More pink, more colors and lace. Hugs and Kisses Ally
Hi Angie, Stevie, Keri, Pauley and all you other sweeties
To hell with it – I wear panties. Even just saying “panties” sends my heart racing and puts me in a feminine mood. Lovely to hear all your thoughts on this and to know that as I proudly walk out in mine there are others doing just the same.
Love you all x
OK, Stevie! Today I am going to dress up my nice bra, panties and tights! Have a nice day! Warm wishes!
Yes Andrew I think most if us think that BUT society doesn’t! There in lies our issue. While we want to wear what we want Society looks at us with a cocked eye and ridicules us! Thanks to sites like this and others we can fund men’s lingerie acceptable to our tastes
Wear something pretty today!
Hi everyone!My name is Andrew!It seems to me that clothes has no gender!Everyone can wear everything he wants!For example I really like to wear a nice lace lingerie and stockings!It is my choice!“I want it that way!”I think it is OK.
Stevie, Kyrstin, Dave, Keri, and Pauley, you all are so amazing! What coherent and thoughtful responses you have contributed! I couldn’t possibly agree more with all of you. I could go on a long time responding to each of your very well thought-out responses, but let me just cut to the chase by saying that I am in total agreement with every one of you. Thank goodness for such sites as Xdress and Body Aware that we have a forum to support each other and know that we are far from alone in our journey of finding who we truly are. I love your responses, and look forward to reading more.
Yes Pauley. I have been laughed at or snickered at for wearing panties and or stockings by a few. I just take a deep breath and say to myself don’t laugh until you try them. You might like them. It is even possible some have seen my panties and never even said a word.
I agree if someone, including a big sports name should do this without trying to get a laugh. Remember when Joe Namath wore pantyhose? I wore pantyhose or stay up stockings when I skied. I loved wearing them for warmth and the fact they were feminine. Those were the days I used to fret that if I fell and was injured I would not only be outed for wearing panties but pantyhose.
You also remind me that mens undies have changed from the days gone by. All we need is just a little push before we can call them panties and they actually are. Those of us that feel this way love how they feel, look and just want to have something pretty and sexy on.