Greetings, my dear readers. I hope this blog finds you well and in some nice lingerie. I got to thinking about the advantages and challenges involved in the different modes of shopping in which we can engage. There are basically three ways to shop; online, brick and mortar and hard copy catalogues.
Hard copy catalogues are pretty much going the way of the dial telephone, but I have found a nice Capri set and a pretty nightgown in one of the catalogues we get. I found the experience pretty flat, and overall the lingerie was pretty boring. I think it is designed for an older set of ladies, with a lot of granny panties and bras that would probably deflect a speeding bullet.
The internet is ideal for those of us who are shy about our inner femme. There is such an array of nice lingerie out there. We are fortunate to have XDress and Body Aware, who specifically cater to us of the femme persuasion. Thank goodness for XD and BA! There are also some nice ladies sites out there. When looking at the customer reviews on a pair of ladies panties, you’d be surprised how many of the reviews are done by males. We number more than you might think. The upside of the internet is you can shop in complete privacy with no risk of unintentionally outing yourself. One of the risks is the issue of fit. You can’t try it on. To further complicate the matter, what one store considers a size large can differ greatly from another store. You just have to learn by experience.
One thing I really like about the internet is in the shoe department. I have large feet – size 13. For those of you that don’t know, in order to find the right size of women’s shoe, add two sizes to your men’s size. If you are a size 9, you would be a size 11 in women’s shoes. Doing the math, you can see that I am a size 15 in women’s shoes. You don’t just go to the local shoe store to find a women’s size 15. You won’t find them. I can, however, find size 15 online, and I have several pair, from boots, to sandals, to loafers, and of course Mary Janes. Also shopping for shoes online spares you the exposure involved in shopping at a brick and mortar.
Speaking of brick and mortar shopping, there are advantages and challenges there as well. First the challenges. The obvious challenge is outing yourself without intending to. There are ways to deal with that. If you are married to a gg who is supportive of your cross dressing, she is your cover for shopping. My wife and I love to go shopping and we have the closets and drawers to prove it! We’ve gotten to the point that a new skirt means you have to donate one to the charity shop. A new pair of panties? Find an old pair to throw out. Such a nice problem to have! One of the up sides to me personally is just the thrill of being in the store with other women around while I’m shopping. Also, you can feel the texture of things and some things, like women’s jeans, you can try on, eliminating the problem of proper fit.
If you are either not out to your gg or single with no relationship, you can use a trick that I used before I was out to my wife. As with most of us, I started by secretly underdressing. When there was a pair of panties I just had to have, I would also pick up a birthday or anniversary card for my wife. Ah, I’m shopping for her, not me. One time I was doing our grocery shopping by myself at Wal Mart and threw a nice pink lacy pair of panties in, thinking they would be lost among all the groceries. Wrong! The clerk scanned them and said, “I’ll bet you’ll look cute in these.” I just smiled, thinking anything I said would just dig the hole deeper.
The pre-Christmas shopping season is a pretty safe time to do both under and outer wear shopping, as everybody is buying things for others. Pretty safe time to get that skirt and blouse you’ve been wanting.
One of the things my wife and I love to do is hit the thrift shops. You’d be surprised at the quality outer wear you can find if you just look. Men’s shopping is pretty straight forward – shirts in one area, slacks in another. With women’s shopping, it’s more like a hunting expedition. Everything is everywhere. You have to take your time. I have skirts and blouses from higher end labels that I got for cheap. One thing that I don’t get is that some of the thrift shops sell used panties. Really? That is so gross. Would you wear panties previously owned by a total stranger? Not this gurl!
So, I’ve rambled on long enough. How about you – what are your experiences and preferences in the wonderful world of shopping? Please share your thoughts with me, as I always love to read your postings. Until then, let’s get out there and go shopping!
P.S. Are there certain subjects you would love to read about on this blog? We are always looking for interesting topics to explore. Let us know in the comments section below!
I just went pantie shopping with my wife for the first time. I have just recently told her. It was really nice not to hide. When we used to go shopping I would pretend that I was looking for her but now I can look for us both.
Shopping is becoming a lot easier these days as training at various department stores has accepted the LGBTQ market openly. I guess they have to since brick and mortar retail is dying a slow death! VS is very open and supportive as are some of the larger department stores. Sizing is an issue for some items but most can be found, especially for me since I am a medium build/athletic cut frame. Panties are the easiest find but the fit is not as good as XDress unless it is a Hipster or Cheeky. Pencil skirts and blouses are also rather easy to find. The hardest is probably shoes. I do wish XDress had a retail brick and mortar though!
Hello,ladies I have discovered when I am at the register. I ask the sales clerk for a gift receipt.It relieves all the stress and creates that euphoric experience…………Stay Beautiful
I’m a man who loves men in lingerie and I love taking guys shopping in public. It’s so much fun making suggestions about what will look the most feminine on him and asking salesgirls for advice on fit and style. I also love how it telegraphs that the person who looks like a man in public is actually my girl. Outside of the thrill of shopping in public, I really just love buying sexy lingerie to dress my “girl” in and will more often buy online for the ease of having it shipped to me, the price and broader selection. Everything on xdress is so hot I would love to buy all of it for someone.
Well, thank you Angie for providing such a safe space for and creating such supportive discussions. We’re all grateful for that.
Sounds like you had a really fun time with your wife. You might have to watch what she expects of you in that new skirt though. Naughty gurls get their come uppance in due course.
Have fun everyone. Be fem.
Hi again all. Wow, these great comments keep coming in. I love reading your thoughts. Kit, I’d like to echo the sentiments of my dear sisters under the suit – all are welcome here. We don’t really get into labels. We have a few contributors that aren’t gender fluid – they just love being in relationship with someone who is. As you can see from responses on this blog, you are far from alone. My thanks, David, for the link. Very interesting reading. I have to brag on last weekend’s shopping. My wife and I went to a thrift shop (one of my favorite brick & mortars). I got a cute skirt for summer for really cheap. My wife calls it my “slutty skirt” because it is pretty short. She also told me it shows off my legs. What a gg! Keep those thoughts and comments coming. I love reading them!
After I asked my wife to wear the thong that she got with her new corset (12 years ago), she bought me few panties and garter belts. I bought for myself only when I was abroad and it was really exciting but back at home I feel very shy to go to lingerie shop alone but more shame to go with my wife (don’t know why) so I started to order online but not all my choices were good … My wife sometime shows me something that will be sexy for me or buys me something from time to time but I decided that if I want to wear sexy lingerie I should buy them myself, so lately I bought for myself a few times… the problem is a few of the saleswomen that I’ve met weren’t so helpful or pleasant… it feels like a man at a lingerie shop makes the saleswomen stressed more that the man himself…but I don’t care, I’ll go to buy my lingerie at the stores that I’ll feel welcome as I do at other shops. I don’t hurt anyone with my passion to wear something sexy and feminine
I think this is a place where anyone can stop, shop if you like and comment. I for one am open to the entire community of people in this space. Like Ally and others I am not sure what label I should use. I just enjoy and embrace my feminine side. ALOT.
As for shopping I most enjoy doing it on site and in mall stores. I’ll try on almost anything. Several years ago I found several bras in a mens fitting room and figured there were others like me shopping there. I took the lead and try on all kinds of women’s clothing. It’s fun and slightly naughty. Awkward sometimes and certainly it was the first few times. But that will pass as you get used to it. I have never had anyone stop me.
So many sweet supportive responses! Thanks XD! This whole experience has been a big part of me figuring out who I am. Thanks for being more than ‘a shop’ and creating such an awesome community space! I’ve never felt more me. Xok
Dear Kit – there is room for us all here.
I hope so anyway as I’m not even sure which of those categories I fit into!
Just finished some XD shopping and ordering …. again lol … got me some new panties and the new nightie. Can’t wait for it to arrive and show my wife. Keep shopping everyone.
I’ve been on this site a long time. It is the most inclusive non judgmental site I’ve been on and I’ve searched the internet for years looking for a place to be accepted. The exchanges of ideas is awesome, its a clean site that you could share with your wife if she were on board. I accept you completely and I m interested in you view on any and all topics. The concept of gender fluidity is a welcomed take on what’s going on for me. Though I haven’t completely assigned that to my self I m exploring it as it comes closest to the vibe i m feeling.
Wow, I’ve really gone off topic but I thought it important to welcome you and make you feel at home so that you will continue to chime in on these topics
Wear something pretty today!
As usual I’m a little late to the blog party due to travel for work, but I’m glad to see everyone has been engaging in some much needed “retail therapy,” both online and in person. I’ve done both and although online is easier for a variety of reasons others have mentioned, in person can be fun too. As an example I recently went to several places looking for pumps and sandals and just walked in and began calmly trying on several pairs. A few women were there and no one even gave me so much as a second look so far as I could tell. I’ve mentioned before that I can’t pass in public and I usually go with my GF but she was out of town so I didn’t have my usual “cover.” Even though I live in a conservative part of the country people are nonetheless very accepting so I’ve never had a problem. However I realize others might not be able to be so bold about shopping brick and mortar stores.
Anyway, best wishes to all in the quest for the perfect femme wardrobe! And thanks Angie for your kind comments a couple of weeks ago. You’re right about the eyelash thing. My GF and I are going to test light mascara and eyeliner on me for our next date. Less is definitely more when it comes to makeup.
Xs and Os Sisters!!
As per your last post, I think this is a very inclusive community. I am openly gay and my boyfriend has gotten into exploring femininity as well. We are definitely not alone!
Thank you for your kind response. It is what it is – I have got accustomed to the situation although I hate being deceitful. Occasionally, I find I have the house to myself as the family are all out, and I can wear a complete set of lingerie and relax. It feels so good! I sometimes work from home and I’ll spend all day working in my lingerie – those are the best days!
To David @xdress – that’s so good to hear you’re working on a click and collect option for your new website.
I’m sure it will be really helpful for your customers.
And your sales should take off – like panties from a laundry line in a strong wind!
I’m really happy that this is a place for cisgender heterosexual men to explore and embrace femininity. Femininity is awesome. I’d love to know, though, that this community is as happy to include queer, non-binary or non-conforming, and trans folks, as well. Are we a fully inclusive community? I don’t have a wife. I have a not-so-into-it husband and a super-into-it daughter. Is there room for all of us here?
David — we are so grateful for this space! Personally, I’d love to find a strappy heel, more in the sandal family. Got to show off this pedicure! And I’ll echo Andre — more bralettes!
Tracking my latest shipment like a kid waiting for Santa. :)
I am sorry that you feel you have to hide your feeling from your wife, this seems to be a common thread (see Angie’s excellent posts on Getting the Wife Onboard). The ladies appear to be able to wear anything, feminine or masculine, and as a result we feel its unfair that they don’t understand how the desire to wear something feminine is an important part of many of us.. But in actual fact I think women feel just as constrained by society’s conventions of what is acceptable clothing based on their weight, age, looks etc., and particularly by the perceived judgment of their fellow gender. So perhaps women and men are both limited in what they can wear, essentially out of fear of embarrassment or ridicule.
Fortunately the world view is changing and I love to see that the younger generation is embracing gender fluidity, and gender boundary-defying clothing is a common feature at the top fashion shows. For now, online shopping is a great and safe way to purchase lingerie, although hopefully in the future there will be more gender neutral brick & mortar stores like The Phluid Project in New York (thephluidproject.com). Does anyone know of any similar stores? Pluid were mentioned in this interesting article: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/03/gender-bending-fashion-rewrites-rules-who-wears-what/ Apologies, Angie, for going somewhat off topic!
I tend to buy online and mainly from Xdress. I am an underdresser mainly. Always wear panties to work. Depending on my office shirt, I might also wear a camisole, but can’t afford to be noticed! I have purchased some underwear from places like Sainsbury’s or Tesco’s but being a female cut, they don’t fit that well (my scrotum keeps falling out unless they are boy shorts!). I prefer paying the extra and getting those designed by Xdress/Bodyaware. Unfortunately, although being married, my wife does not know I wear these under my work clothes – she just doesn’t understand how it makes me feel. It’s so nice to see others on here like wearing the things I do and I’m not so strange after all!
With regard to future ideas, maybe it would be good to have a photo upload section, so those of us who do not look like the models showing the lovely lingerie, can see what it look like on the rest of us. I’m overweight and probably twice the age of the models!
Thank you Angie, Xdress and everyone who contributes on here.
Hi there Stevie
I can’t do stilettos. I just don’t feel comfortable in them and I find their shape is a little too narrow for my body shape. Lucky you if you can pull them off! The jewelry counter is a really interesting are to explore. I’m more of a silvery bangles and multi-layered necklace type of person. Jewelry done well adds accent and highlight I hadn’t been aware of. Ceramic, stone or plastic jewelry in big chunky colourful beads works well too. The model in the article has a nice chunky chain necklace on.
I love the new xdress satin print panties by the way. They are definitely on my list.
Does xdress do a click and collect delivery? I’m not sure they do. It would be so much more convenient for me if they did.
Luv to you all and happy dressing
Reply from David @ Xdress Thanks for your comments Ally. We do not currently have the option for Click and Collect, but we are working on updating our website and hope to add this or a similar service in the near future.
What great replies! I just love reading your comments and stories about shopping. Kit, regarding your question about how to find shoes, you can go to Google and type in your search criterion. For example, I have a couple of pairs of Mary Janes. I located them by typing in Mary Janes size 15. I’ve also found shoes by simply typing in Women’s Shoes Size 15. I find that a bit hit or miss, but I’ve found some nice loafers, ballet slippers and sandals that way. Good luck, and happy shopping!
A special shout out to Ally, Pauley, K, Randy, and Nathan. Thanks so much for your suggestions of topics. Sometimes I start searching for ideas and topics, and you have been tremendously helpful. Consider yourselves hugged by your sis Angie!
I love shopping in a department store because I feel like no one is really paying attention to anyone else, and that if I just exude the vibe that I’m trying to decide “if it will fit her?” that’s what people will think. Also, the places with self-checkout save a lot of anxiety. On some levels I kind of hate Walmart—but for this I am grateful. Please please, though, share the resources of where else you are buying larger size shoes online! I’m an 11.5, which means I can’t walk into a Payless and find 13 wide either!
Great addition of something I hadn’t thought of; jewelry is a great way to add a femme touch in a stealth way. In the summer an anklet made of leather works great on the beach AND any necklace or ring can be added in addition to ear rings
The addition of a little make up especially when going out can easily be done in stealth mode OR NOT. Club time begs to do all of that plus a pair of stilettos
Jewellery is an area we don’t hear much about.
I’ve recently been experimenting with some and have been surprised a the results. For instance, I recently bought some quite cheap, but girly, boho style jewellery online and teamed it with male casual wear and some women’s metallic platform sandals. I was surprised at the accent the jewellery gave. The necklace added decoration but also seemed to lengthen my neck a little, the bracelet glittered and drew attention to my hands. If I’d have had longer nails on and had them painted the effect would have been superb. The jewellery items I’d chosen were silvery and so matched my metallic silver sandals. I felt proper fem! And so pleased with myself I just had to put on a little lipsticck and mascara too! And, of course, I had a lovely pair of xdress lace panties and a bra under my casual wear. So comfortable for every day.