Finding Your Groove

Finding Your Groove


Greetings, my dear readers. Today I’d like to share a few thoughts with you about the journey that we find ourselves on as we explore the more full sense of who we are. What I mean by that rather wordy sentence is that we all started from a certain point in our sense of who we are and are now, in most likelihood, at a different point.

I’ve read enough accounts on the internet to know that some of us began exploring feminine clothing at a very young age, thanks to moms, sisters, and their panty drawer and closet. Very commonly, I have found that those early explorers typically put off all things feminine when reaching puberty and an interest in girls began, and then putting it off further during the early adult years, with establishing careers, marriages, and children, only to return to the desire to explore their feminine selves as they got older.

Others, like me, didn’t really feel free to embrace their sense of the femme self until later in life. Looking back, I find that Angie was peeking out in ways I didn’t know. When the other guys in grade school and high school were playing the drums, tuba, and trumpet, I was drawn to the flute in the 4th grade and fell in love with it. Other guys wore jeans and tee shirts. I wore color-coordinated designer clothes. Other guys were in to rough sports. I was into the arts. Angie was, indeed, peeking out all those developmental years, although I had yet to make her acquaintance.


I don’t know how it was for you, but when I finally had the courage to start actually wearing feminine lingerie, I pretty much overdid it. My panties were the laciest, pinkest, and most flamboyant. When I started outer dressing, my skirts were the shortest, my blouses the most lacy and flounced. Over the years, my taste has moderated to that of a more sedate style, both in lingerie and outer dress. In other words, over the years, I have found my groove.



In talking with others of the gender fluid persuasion, I find this is a fairly typical pattern. We tend to overcompensate at first as we are discovering this missing part of ourselves and, over time, start finding our comfort zone – that place that feels truly to reflect who we are. We are all, male and female, on a continuum from the extreme male (macho man) to the extreme female (girly girl). All of us, male and female, fall somewhere along that continuum. If you are reading this, chances are about 100% that you are not at the macho man end of the spectrum. So where do you fall in the male –female continuum? Only you can really answer that. There is a survey you can take, the COGIATI (Combined Gender Identity and Transsexuality Inventory) that may give you some idea of where you are on the scale from macho man to girly girl, however I will caution you that there is some question and debate as to the validity of the COGIATI inventory, due to inherent bias.

I am very fortunate to be married to a lady that is gender fluid as well. She can dress up as a beautiful and very feminine woman, but is equally comfortable in a flannel shirt, jeans, and work boots. I call her Andi when she is in butch mode, hailing from the BBC TV show, Handy Andy, in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s. She loves to work on the house and in the yard in her Andi outfits. We both understand each other to be basically male and female, but celebrate that there is so much more to both of us and this understanding has made our relationship so much richer.

So back to the main thread of this blog, have you found your groove? Do you know where you fall on the spectrum from macho man to girly girl, or are you still exploring? If you haven’t found your groove – that place where you belong between male and female, no worries. The exploration is half the fun! And oh the shopping that involves!

So get those keyboards rattling. I would love to hear your thoughts and to hear about your journey. Have you found your groove, or are you still a courageous explorer?

Fond regards,


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Finding the groove is such a wave of emotion. Some days feminine, other days masculine. It is great that we do not have to be pigeonholed into one or the other and we can go back and forth whenever our little hearts desire! I enjoy having both options and some days I feel more feminine than masculine but have to be masculine and other days when I feel more masculine but GET to be feminine! Enjoy both sides and embrace the feeling when you can and ride it out! No reason we cant do both on the same day: Panties and bra, business suit. Satin Tanga and golf shorts. Straight out panties and bra and nothing else as you lounge around


Hi Angie

Another beautiful post.
It is a fact that from a very young age I discovered my femme side. And from a very early age, I started wearing underwear. I never left. Even at puberty I felt more and more like a woman and when I had my first boyfriend and started my sex life. Later in college I continued to be more and more feminine and I had another boyfriend with whom I lived and in our intimacy was her girl. Today in the world of work I wear suits and ties and always lingerie. When I started wearing lingerie I was 12 years old, they were mainly cotton underwear with bows and dolls, with time and with age I adapted the lingerie to my lifestyle. I really like lingerie and buy the pieces that I like and that make me more sensual. In my drawer there is a normal brief, dental floss or Brazilian and I choose according to my state of mind or what I am going to do that day. I don’t have the habit of having lingerie for the week, weekend or parties. I use what gives me the most pleasure at the moment. Answering your question, I consider myself a woman without a doubt but in a man’s body.
I would like to assume in full but I cannot for various reasons, except in privacy with my “husband” who, like me, cannot assume myself in front of the family as his wife. It is life and we are happy.
Best Regards.


Hi Gary and every cuties!I really like to sleep in my nighty without a pair of panties! It’s so cute! I feel absolutely freedom!

Cutie Drew

Hi everyone
Isn’t this site great? Its so awesome that we accepted Gary and welcomed him! I think its so important that there is a safe outlet for us to come to and express ourselves ask questions and feel accepted
A lot of sites are sex sites and ARE NOT conducive to healthy images of ourselves
Once again thanks to Angie and XD for providing this outlet.


Hello Gary! Why don’t you try a garter belt and stockings? It will be such a nice outfit! Have a happy day!

Cutie Drew

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