Musings on Men in Panties

You may think there is a contradiction in the title: Men and Panties are two words that don’t normally go together, maybe a misprint for “Men in Boxers”? No, many men prefer the look, comfort and feel of panties to the ubiquitous boxer briefs that someone, somewhere determined should be the standard underwear for men. But gender norms are shifting and men are challenging stereotypes and embracing traditionally feminine styles such that lingerie for men is no longer considered taboo.

Although boxer briefs are everywhere, recent years have seen a multitude of established brands creating quality underwear for men that is perhaps a halfway house between panties and regular men’s underwear, and BodyAware.com is just one. Some brands refer to their standard underwear products as men’s lingerie. Briefs and skimpier bikinis are available for men who want something a little different, but at the far end of the underwear for men spectrum are bona fide men’s panties.

So what exactly are men´s panties? A search for “Men in Panties” will yield a startling array of different styles of panties worn by men. Some are promoted as sexy panties for men, but in reality, just the term panties conjures up visions of sexy lingerie, although traditionally in reference to women´s intimates. Men may have many reasons to choose panties or generally men´s lingerie as underwear, not just because it makes them feel good, it can also make them feel sexy.

The specialist companies designing and making lingerie for men are few and far between, but Xdress is probably the oldest, having been established in London in the early 1990´s as Apres Noir. The concept was so revolutionary back in the 1990’s that many newspapers and TV shows featured the lingerie and explored the new trend for men´s lingerie.  For example this one from the Independent newspaper in the UK: Free yourself from Y-Fronts. The company name was changed to simply Xdress when the headquarters was moved to the USA, because Xdress was easier to remember and was more representative of the product. Another more recent men’s lingerie article covering the subject of gender fluid underwear is here: Discovering Myself.

Xdress.com makes a wide variety of men´s lingerie, but the wide range of sexy panties for men are the most sought after. The company had been making men´s underwear for some time under the brand Body Aware, but was always innovative, searching for interesting fabrics rather than being limited to cotton as was the standard back in the day (and of course still is). One idea was to use stretch lace in underwear, and it turned out to be incredibly popular, as men´s underwear made in lace was a totally revolutionary concept, and there was something about see through underwear for men that sparked an interest. From that small beginning, the idea of lingerie for men grew, to become a company now offering hundreds of styles of men´s panties and men´s lingerie.

So what is it about panties that men love? The idea of wearing something forbidden is surely a factor, but it seems that the sheer variety of styles of panties for men in a multitude of colours and fabrics is hard to resist. Panties can mix and match fabrics, like satin with lace trim, and also mix colours as well as adding the little details like delicate bows.

Men have in recent decades been limited to very basic styles based on the boxer or boxer brief, made in cotton, and in very muted ¨masculine colours. Since black, white, gray and navy have become the standard colours men are supposed to be happy with, it is not so surprising that many men who are perhaps more adventurous and not constrained by convention look beyond this standard offering and compare it to underwear women are able to wear. Men fascinated by panties must often wonder why it is that women have such an amazing variety of  choices compared to men, but also why it is that for women there is a totally acceptable crossover of masculine styles of inner and outer clothing made for women (boy shorts is just one example), but it is considered taboo for feminine styles to crossover into the male domain. When men are judged for liking feminine attire, there is a feeling of double standards being applied.

What is so wrong with men wanting to wear sexy panties made specifically for men that are comfortable and look pretty? OK, we can´t use the word pretty to describe men´s panties, how about handsome lingerie for men? But the fact is that pretty is actually a good descriptor for panties, whether panties for men or women. Traditional men’s underwear does not incorporate any attractive embellishments other than perhaps a wide waistband with the brand’s logo emblazoned on it. Then you look at panties, they can incorporate fabrics with different textures, colours, bows, delicate elastic edging, plus of course many different cuts from full briefs, through bikini briefs, Brazilians to thongs and tiny g/strings.

Now of course a lot of men who are attracted to the idea of panties for themselves will have rummaged through the lingerie section at Victoria’s Secret in the USA or Marks and Spencers in the UK, assuming they are brave enough to enter these hallowed feminine areas. Usually hoping the women shoppers are thinking, “That’s a nice guy, buying sexy lingerie for his partner, it must be her birthday”. But in fact they are more likely to be keeping a wary eye out, suspicious that he is buying panties for himself, especially if he is seen stretching out the waistband to see if they will fit him, as women’s sizing is a bit of a mystery!

After all the guts and embarrassment it took to enter the lingerie department and the excitement of seeing hundreds of styles and colours of panties, the male shopper has to pick out panties really fast to minimize the time under the female gaze of other customers in the store, so he is likely to have not chosen the panties giving the best fit. Having braved the questioning and what he may imagine as disapproving looks at the cash register, he breaths a sigh of relief as he exits the store with a pink shopping bag (curtesy of Victoria's Secret) and he thanks his lucky stars that he didn´t bump into anyone he knows.

He can’t wait to get home, very excited to try on his purchase. But here is the kicker, he puts on the panties and maybe is fortunate and he chose the correct size for his waist, but then he wonders why there is so little room up front to contain the man bits and there seems to be negligible elastic in the legs and waist.  Of course the answer is obvious, these are designed for women, but it is dreadfully disappointing, having gone though all that angst to get something really nice, but impractical to wear as a man.

The fact is that panties for men have to be designed differently compared to women´s.  Even some fabrics that are commonly used for women do not work so well for men.  Men´s panties work best when made with stretch fabrics as they have to follow men´s contours.  The most obvious difference is the design of the front area, men need enough fabric to form a pouch shape. And to keep the pouch shape and avoid gaping at the front, the elastic must be tensioned. The same picot elastic used in women´s panties works fine for men, but the tensioning is essential. In regular panties the elastic is laid flat, but that will not work for men.  Similarly, some tensioning in the waist is necessary for the panties to stay put around the hips or waist, depending on the style. Also, most men will find that the panties ride too high at the back and will likely peek out above regular outerwear. So for men, the panties have to be cut a little lower at the back, and a little higher at the front. 

Once the design is sorted out, it is possible to make great sexy panties that truly fit men. The price will tend to be quite a lot higher that the typical department store panties, due to the relative imbalance in the quantities of women´s vs men´s panties manufactured. However, most men who have switched from women´s panties and have found Xdress men´s panties, say they are well worth the extra money. And they appreciate the ability to be able to select and anonymously purchase on-line at Xdress.com, panties and other lingerie for men that really fits and is comfortable, looks sexy and above all, is pretty.

Fortunately, now men have a great choice in their underwear. There was a time not so long ago in the 1990´s when there was considerable prejudice against men wearing panties or anything other than conventional underwear. See a vintage TV show with Xdress´s Nicola defending the right of men to wear lingerie: Men in Silk. 

So next time you hear of men in panties or find your significant other likes to wear panties, do not be shocked, it is their personal choice, and does not infer anything about their sexual orientation or make them a worse person. After all it is simply clothing and something that makes the wearer feel good about themselves.

DJB