Waistbands & Social Constructs Part II

Waistbands & Social Constructs Part II

We are here on this site as we care about what we wear, how we want to express ourselves, and how it makes us feel.  Social constructs around fashion and design have been placed in quite a neat and tidy box, for men at least.  As I have mentioned in other blogs, it’s ok for a woman to put on baggy jeans, a plaid shirt, and hiking boots, and no one would ever think twice.  A man puts on a blouse and skirt, or a dress, some cool pumps, and bring out the torches and pitchforks. If we as men want to express our feminine side, or feminine energy (as I see it), we must either hide it, and have our dirty little secret, or be fortunate enough to have a significant other who appreciates us for who we are, and how we choose to dress. 

From a social standpoint, let’s look at retail shopping.  The next time you head off to the mall, or your favorite clothing retailer, stop and take a look. What is the allotted square footage to the woman’s section and see how it’s put right in your face at the front of the store. Look at the selections being offered, such as styles, colors, fabrics, and overall options. Look around at the spring and summer choices, full of bright colors, yellows, oranges, bright greens, and pinks.  What about shoe options? What are the styles, colors, and options?  I was just in a retail shoe store recently, and was thinking, this just isn’t fair.  Do women wear more clothes than men?  Can’t see how that would work. You don’t see them like Cher and doing an outfit change between lunch and coffee break. So, what’s the deal?


Men's blue satin shorts and bra


Now, let’s look at the retail space for the men’s clothing section, maybe 50% of the footprint? Maybe? Placed at the back of the store, and filled with blue dress shirts, blue blazers, and khaki pants. Ugh.  If you want to purchase a pair of pants, besides denim, you can have the option of grey, black, or blue.  I guess it makes decision making easy.  The only place you can get colorful pants or shirts is by heading to your local Golftown. Apparently, only golfers are allowed a more colorful selection, and only when accessorized with clubs and a bag.  Now, the men’s shoe section. The thought of it makes me sleepy. Nothing like a black or brown oxford to really snaz things up.  Trust me, I look for cool and funky shoes all over the planet when I travel, there is the odd unicorn out there, but they are few and far between.  I finally found some bright yellow brogue oxfords on this last trip. The only colorful shoe in the men’s department. They stood out, I can tell you that.  When I looked at the women’s section, it was colorful options galore.

When, and why do men settle for drab and boring?  Why are subdued colors, and standard fabrics and styles accepted?  Is this because society has told the male population that boring is standard?  It you go for something out of the norm, will be judged? Sure, there are some options out there, but it has taken me a lot of time and investigative work to discover the brands who dare to create these styles.  Trust me, it looks like Elton John threw up in my closet. 


Men's blue satin crotchless panties


So, outside of outwear, what about underwear? See the same pattern?  I was in a men’s store in New Orlean’s, and required some underwear (experienced a missing luggage issue), and guess what the selection was? Black, grey, or blue boxers.  Now, should I have gone into a women’s store for the same thing, what options would I have? I think you get the point. 

I’m very thankful that XDress provides me, as a male, options for what I want to wear, what colors I want to wear, what styles I want to wear, what fabrics I find comfortable, and how it makes you feel.  For those of you who have broken out of the social constructs, I applaud you.  If it’s outerwear, or underwear, create your own style, express yourself, and lean into that energy that makes you, you. Love to hear your thoughts.


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Though not interested in feminine outerwear (love the panties), the lack of mainstream interesting/not boring men’s clothing has frustrated me for a long time. I pick up interesting shirts whenever I can, but wearing them makes me something of an outlier, meaning that at work I have become “the guy that wears the exciting shirts” – whilst I don’t object, why should wearing colours and patterns be such a standout thing? There is an ingrained cultural standard that somehow needs to be broken.


I grew up feeling it was wrong that I wanted to wear feminine underwear. Everything in our culture makes it difficult or subversive if a man doesn’t conform to its representation of masculinity, including the clothes that are acceptable for a man to wear. None of this dissuaded me, however, and I grew to embrace my compulsion to dress up in women’s underwear and lingerie, albeit with periods of uncertainty and even shame in my younger days. My position now is that I simply don’t care what is deemed acceptable and what isn’t. I like wearing panties, which I do on a daily basis, and I like wearing stockings, garter belts, basques, bodies, heels, etc. I don’t publicise my choice of underwear but I don’t go out of my way to hide it either. My wife has accepted that her man crossdresses in lingerie and seems to enjoy that fact. Who cares what the social construct tells is ok, just do and wear what makes you fulfilled and happy!


To overcome the lack of options with regular men’s underwear I wear women’s underwear or male-friendly versions like those from xdress. I’m not brave enough to wear feminine outer clothing in public but do enjoy the occasional shopping trip to department stores, where I try on some of the beautiful clothes they have in the women’s section. I make sure I’m wearing some of my favourite lingerie under my regular male clothes before taking my time browsing through the collections in the women’s department. I’ll pick out 2 or 3 outfits before heading to the fitting room where I’ll spend as long as possible trying things on. I’ve overcome the embarrassment I used to feel when I do this and don’t care if the store assistants appear judgemental. On one occasion I even ventured out of the fitting room to ask the assistant for help with the zip on the back of a dress I was trying. She happily obliged and even commented that she thought the dress was a great fit on me! I do wish there was more choice in male clothes, but this satisfies me for now.


Is swimwear coming? Summer is practically here. Can’t wait to see what xdress does. I agree we have to keep the feminine energy going! hopefully some new items come in lots of pink!
Editor’s note: Unfortunately our manufacturer let us down and we won’t have any Xdress Swimwear this year.


Glad to see part 2 Yes, we no longer have to settle for boring underwear I ve often said if its made for men is it crossdressing? Thanks to this site the colors styles are now available for us. So glad i no longer have to go to the women’s section I love the styles even if they are considered feminine. So what, like you said, we should have all styles available like women do …. Women have Boy shorts Boy friend jeans Can wear whatever they want I claim the same ability Get ur lingerie on I did


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