We’ve tackled a lot of different topics on this blog when it comes to what it means to be a crossdresser, as well as the many different ways you can crossdress. We’ve gone from talking about how your facial hair should look, what outfits you can wear, and even gone into some societal topics regarding crossdressing. With all these different trends in crossdressing, contrasted with how it has always been, we’ve been wondering: is there only one way to crossdress? Or is it more flexible than that?
We’re coming up in an age where fashion is becoming more and more innovative, and where “breaking the rules” is encouraged when it comes to putting together an outfit. Though crossdressing is just as much a lifestyle as it is a fashion statement, there are definitely elements of it where you can “break the rules”. You can mix up lingerie sets, wear some wigs, and change up what kinds of shoes you wear with your outfits and it could be considered “fashion,” but are you still “crossdressing” if you break these sorts of rules?
I’ve noticed that crossdressing is definitely more specific than any other way of dressing, but in the way I understand it, it’s simply wearing articles of clothing that are traditionally worn by members of the other sex. However, I can also see that “cross dressing” and “being a crossdresser” can be two very different things. Someone who would regularly crossdress might have a set of rules to follow, like staying shaved to appear feminine, and wearing specific outfits that align with the identity of “crossdresser.” On the other hand, someone who is simply crossdressing as a one-time thing, or someone who just enjoys wearing feminine articles of clothing from time to time, might not want the identity of “crossdresser,” as it’s not a hobby that they actively follow. In conjunction with that, someone who is an avid crossdresser could find offense to someone crossdressing as a one-time thing (especially if they think that they’re doing something incorrectly), since being more active crossdresser has a defined culture and lifestyle that comes with it.
Because your opinions are valuable to us, let’s have some discussion in the comments. Is there only one way to be a “crossdresser?” Do you have to stick to a certain set of rules to become one, and if so, what are those rules? Can someone still consider themselves as a “crossdresser” if they break those rules? Give us your opinions! We’d love to hear them!
10 comments
I just turned 50 last month and my first pair of panties were traded from a little girl I had a crush on in third grade. She wanted my briefs and after She saw me peeking at her pretty flowered panties she offered to trade. I lept at the offer and in the process had my first show me yours I’ll show you mine session with a girl. I wore her panties home that day and she gave me “girl tips” for the next 3 years. I was an effeminate boy. Today many would say that I am a cross dresser as I am in clothing that is female most days all day. I do not however try to appear to be a female or “pass” as they say. I am a 6’ 2" muscular 220lb bald man with a beard, I don’t want to look like a female or be a female. I just like to feel pretty and sometimes like to play French maid or cheerleader with my wife of 29 years. I do wear skirts and flowered shorts as well as frilly stocks (especially with lace ruffles) out and about. I wear one of my one piece swim suits to the pool to swim. I have been called out at a local gay/transgendered/transsexual bar for being a fraud or fake but I am just being me. I may be somewhat of a sissy at times but I am proud to be a man. What’s wrong with that? Nothing, it should be about letting everyone be themselves and express themselves as who they are not be judged according to a stereotype.
There is definitely not ‘one kind’ of crossdresser. What people define or characterize as crossdressing varies widely. As a teen, from the time I started buying my own underwear, and into my adult years, I always preferred wearing unconventional men’s underwear. Underwear that by today’s standards, were cut and styled, and made of fabrics such as silk and nylon that were more typical of women’s underwear. I preferred bikini styles, and liked prints and colors that often were only available from places that sold ‘fashion’ underwear for men.
No wonder then, that I eventually began to shop for underwear in the women’s lingerie department. My first pantie purchases were rather simple, unisex styles in solid colors. As time went on, my selections became increasingly more feminine looking. Today, about 15 years after starting to buy panties, women’s underwear is all I wear. I have about 150 panties, no two alike. Compared to men’s underwear selections, the variety of styles, colors, fabrics, prints and patterns available for women is endless, and constantly changing. I love the variety, but I also like the look and feel of the softer, silkier, slinkier fabrics. But, AND THIS IS AN IMPORTANT DISTINCTION, panties are the only garment I wear that is distinguishable as one made for and marketed to women. I really have no desire to cross dress into other feminine attire. I have no interest in wearing dresses, stockings, bras, or slips. I don’t wear makeup or wigs, and have not adopted a feminine name like Stephanie, for instance. I do own, and wear a few other pieces of clothing like tights, gym shorts and bathing suits that are women’s, but they are not so feminine in their design that they are easily recognizable as a woman’s garment.
My wife of nearly 32 years knows that I have a major affinity for panties, sees me in them everyday, and knows that panties are what I wear as underwear, every day. We buy them for each other, and have several pair that are a perfect match. I am a business professional, and very masculine. My weight is in proportion to my height, and I think I look great in panties. I find men’s underwear to be rather homely looking, and they do not fit well.
I wear panties, but I don’t consider myself a crossdresser. In fact, some of the crossdressers I have met, and have corresponded with are rather dismissive of my preference for panties, or the fact that any other women’s clothing I do occasionally wear is ‘unisex’. I’ve been told that I am a latent crossdresser, and that someday, I will transition to wearing other women’s garments. There doesn’t really seem to be a category that men like me ‘fit’ into…men who like wearing panties made for, and marketed to women (or made for men, like those sold on XDress and BodyAware), but have no interest in crossdressing, or being concerned about whether or not they can ‘pass’ as a woman.
Since society’s “rules” make crossdressing such a secretive and potentially shameful act for many of us, it would be nice if crossdressing itself could be a rules free zone. :-)
I do like that you acknowledged the full spectrum of men that like to crossdress. Personally, I’m a masculine man that just likes to wear lingerie from time to time. Although I’ll concede that some of my xdress panties are far more comfortable than any mens underwear I own, I typically only wear them if I’m going out with my girlfriend. Essentially like many women do, I’m wearing my nicest panties when I think I might be getting lucky that night. haha
I don’t really identify with those that are fully into crossdressing as a lifestyle, or those that create a female “persona” for themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging those people. Nor should they judge me. We should all be nothing but tolerant of each other. Some standard fashion guidelines might still apply though. Such as try to wear items that are flattering to your body type. Haha
I considere a cross dresser just in some cases when I want to feel sexy and being watched for men. I dress up just in the nights and I go out walkin down the streets showing my lingerie but in the mornings I do my normal life wearing men clothes. I have a short time doing this but everyday I want to wear new women clothes.
Thanks
Of course there is no one way to be crossdresser, maybe there are as many as us.
Me for example I use lingerie every single day since more than 30 years ago and I use my “normal” men cloths and under my bra, slip, even suspender and socks.
Sometimes in a special circumstances I crossdress me totally not just my underwear and then I use a dress a wig and make up.
By the way, I’m married with a woman and both of us enjoy this.