Let's Talk Confidence!

Let's Talk Confidence!

Where does it come from? Is it a gradual process of accumulated experiences, or can a single thought or event trigger it? How do you build up enough confidence-or courage-to actually do something that you've always wanted to do but wouldn't have thought yourself capable of or brave enough to- to go over the edge, jump off the cliff? Especially when that something goes completely against the culture/conventions you were brought up with.

In my case the something was wanting to wear full female clothing in public, but for me it was-still is!-a really scary thought, and there’s a constant fear or doubt lurking. However thanks in no small way to XDress and you guys in the XD community, sufficient confidence has overcome the fear, and I thought it was worth sharing my journey with you; you've helped me jump off the cliff and I’m flying, so hopefully my experience might encourage some others amongst you to gain that confidence, unshackle yourselves and feel free! I really do hope so.

XDress has been a very recent discovery for me, and boy has it changed my life!

I'll come to the products later, notably the pink satin panties, but the various blogs ring so true and I can identify with so many comments too. You guys are so brave even just talking about this, quite apart from those of you who are also venturing out!  Just reading through the comments made me realize that I'm not alone, and that on its own has been a huge confidence builder-you’re inspirational!

Brief background - I'm a straight male, I've never wanted to be a female, but all my life I've wanted to wear lingerie, and there have been periods where it was more or less easy to do so, but it was always in secret. Initially it was a fascination with suspenders and stockings, and the feel of the nylon against my legs. Then the wonderful discovery of pretty silky panties and how lovely and sexy they look and feel.

But that was as far as it went for many years as life took its course. Wearing lingerie with a girl or lady was a dream, but sadly I've never had an understanding girlfriend or SO, and that's probably my fault as much as theirs. I was married for several years, but we drifted apart.

Those years went by with the lingerie desire rumbling in the background, but there was no obvious opportunity to break out-far less the confidence to do so. I did wear panties to work and felt great, but it wasn't going anywhere. I suppose you get comfortable where you are-we all do, don't we?

So what got me out of my comfort zone?

I'm still working it all out, but it's been a mixture of an ongoing process-the “rumble”- and several more recent  and specific things,  some of which probably seem obvious from the outside although difficult to see yourself at the time, some very surprising- certainly to me-coming completely from left field, but they've all conspired to make me jump off that cliff, and I'm so happy I have finally done it.

After my wife and I split up, I've had more time and opportunity to dress, and that’s been important. My adult daughter is living in, but even so there's been a lot more freedom to slip into bra, panties, stockings and suspenders on a more regular basis and it started to feel more comfortable and natural; I became more relaxed, even when wearing them outside under male clothing.

I added a pink PVC maid's dress from a local seamstress-just gorgeous with white glossy stockings and lingerie-must be a submissive in me trying to get out! Also a wig and shoes-so I was getting there, but still all in secret.

The key catalyst, in my pre-XDress life-was buying silicone breast forms! Having a full bra just makes me really comfortable, I just feel complete. Such a lovely feeling when they warm to your body, and a gorgeous subtle bounce as you move. But what really surprised me was that rather than wanting to hide the breasts from view-the fear factor, counterintuitively I wanted people to know I was wearing them, to see me wearing them. It was a strange sensation, but it probably took me to the cliff edge. It just felt right. So confidence came out winner in this battle!

The lady from the site – Jo Thornton (UK) who supplied them has been so patient, supportive and encouraging("be yourself!") -advising on the right bra style and fit-wonderful customer service.

Everything was making me feel more free, being the me that I wanted to be, it was wonderful but still largely in secret, or disguised when I wore them outside.
I should say at this point that I have been to a fetish event in Birmingham (UK), wearing my maid's outfit-a terrific experience and in public, but a very restricted and totally sympathetic public, so there was no real chance of embarrassment to others, therefore I don't really count it! Embarrassing other people is really my biggest fear-what might/must they be thinking? But I'm sure it helped me just being there.

So having got myself to the cliff edge, what made me jump?

Well it was XDress and you guys-yes! It's all your fault-and thank you from the bottom of my heart! I chanced on the website when googling-more in hope than expectation- "men's pink satin panties" to match my maid's dress, and XDress popped up.

And there were the panties I had to have! What a wonderful product range, and all made for men!  Gorgeous panties in lovely styles and shades. I ordered 2 pink pairs +the matching Merry Widow, and while waiting for delivery started reading your blogs-it was as if they had been written for me.

That enthused me, then the panties arrived! As soon as I put them on, that was it! -so pretty, smooth and soft, fit like a dream-it must sound daft, but wearing them felt and looked so good that I knew I was about to go over the edge. That very same evening, shaking like a leaf, I walked up to a new local store, not too far away, for some groceries, wearing my pink satin panties, best lingerie-swopped to black stockings to at least be slightly less conspicuous! - and breast forms, a white top, short black skirt and cardigan, wig and shoes-small heels! The panties just felt drop dead gorgeous-would recommend them to absolutely everyone.

Talk about being scared, but there weren't many people around and it worked out- it was so lovely just to be me, and no longer caring what other people might think. And those I had to speak to, mainly in the store-were so polite! Having walked up there, I floated back home!

So there you are-physically a small step for Georgina but psychologically a huge one-and still coming to terms with it, but so happy and excited to have done it, and will be going up there again soon. Need to tread carefully, so small steps for the time being, but wow!

Next step may be make-up, not sure. I've never used it, preferring to be me as I am-what do you all feel about make-up? Does it add or detract? I know I’ll never look pretty or female, and I’m not too worried about that, but perhaps I ought to try!  For me the main thing is that I feel pretty from the panties outwards.

So that's how a shy inherently cautious guy finally got out the door and went public. The confidence to do so came largely from 2 totally unexpected sources-a breast form supplier and XDress, both completely unknown to me until recently.

Thank you XDress!-and I will be back for more pretty panties soon!

Never lose the dream, guys-seek and you shall find!

Love to all,


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Hi Francisca
Lovely to hear from you, and so glad that your journey is progressing well. You are so right about small steps-like rungs on a ladder, one at a time but always in the right direction.
It took me a while to decide on the best bra form-padded/unpadded, underwired or not……, but because I want to have my breast forms on whenever possible, the key factor for me is coverage of the forms to hold them properly-they are D-cup, so a healthy size!
For the bikini I really struggled to find something suitable, but the pocketed one I now have is just terrific-I wanted to be able to swim without the forms sliding around-or dropping out!-and this one is so comfortable and feels so secure. I’ll always remember coming out of the water the first time I had it on-so incredibly thrilling.
Forms aren’t for everyone, but I just feel complete wearing them.

Keep moving forward Francisca-fortune favours the brave!




Hi Georgina!
Sorry for just replying now. I am very happy for you, having managed to take one more step in your femme side and have taken one more step and wear a bikini. It’s a unique sensation, today I can’t do without the bikini. This summer I bought two that enhance my more feminine side in terms of breasts, I prefer the ones without cups.
We have to take the steps slowly, feel comfortable and good with ourselves. Continue it is a pleasure to share our experiences. Kisses.


Hi Francisca
What a great story-and journey! I’m so pleased for you-it’s wonderful when it all works out, so often after a long period of doubt and despair.
I’ve managed to get on the beach in a bikini recently too! As I mentioned previously I love wearing breast forms, but I couldn’t see a way to comfortably wear them on the beach/swimming, until I actually asked the supplier-so obvious!-and she put me in touch with a shop specialising in mastectomy swimwear. The bikini tops have built-in pockets for beast forms, and it works beautifully-holds my breasts firmly and so comfortably.
So on a recent weekend away I bit the bullet and tried it-just such a thrill stepping out in my pink bikini and forms, and feeling a million dollars-or pounds where I come from, but who cares!
Congratulations on your journey, Francisca.


Hello Georgina.
I congratulate you on your journey in this process, it is a long road for some, easier than for others. I discovered my feminine side at a very young age, around 12/13 years old. I’ve always liked girls’ games more than boys’ games. I think they always saw me as one of them. It was during one of these games that I discovered the feeling of wearing panties. That day changed everything in my life and I discovered that I loved being a girl and I even started dating a neighbor of mine at the time. Yes I am gay! I’ve always worn lingerie and that’s when I discovered Xdress by chance, I realized that after all it wasn’t just me and after all there were other people like me. I work in a very conservative area but it never stopped me from wearing lingerie in my day to day life. In the last three years, I have evolved in my presentation with women. I count on the help and encouragement of my boyfriend, an incredible person, I wear a bikini on the beach and when we’re on a weekend or vacation I’ve been wearing lighter clothes with a lower waist and some transparency to enhance my panties. I started to make up with neutral colors and fix my nails and paint even in light colors. It has been an incredible experience. But we all have our time and above all we must not stop feeling comfortable. Yours sincerely.


Hi everyone
It’s been really encouraging and reassuring to read your comments and stories, knowing that there are so many of us out there trying to find our own way round the hurdles-real or imagined-involved in dressing openly.
Just wanted to update you on where I’m at now, and hopefully encourage you further!
Briefly I recently met a very open-minded lady, and things have progressed to the point where yesterday-in broad daylight-she “escorted” a fully dressed Georgina-lingerie, breast forms, short skirt, blouse, heels, wig and jewellery-round a retail park, browsing ladies clothing and relaxing(?) in a coffee shop!
It was so scary to start with, but such an incredible thrill-just what I had always dreamed of doing! I’m not sure that I could have done it alone-she was literally holding my hand, but having her there gave me the confidence to do it. There was the odd look, but people were polite, and I felt safe with her.
I still can’t totally believe it happened, but I have a photo, so it did.
Just a WOW experience.

So if I can do it, so can you!
Whether I can do it alone is the next hurdle/question, and time will tell.

A thought for you-perhaps “hurdle” is the wrong word-what about “question” instead? Hurdles can seem immoveable, whereas questions have answers, and we can all answer questions when we think them through.

Keep thinking and seeking answers-good luck everyone.



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