Where does it come from? Is it a gradual process of accumulated experiences, or can a single thought or event trigger it? How do you build up enough confidence-or courage-to actually do something that you've always wanted to do but wouldn't have thought yourself capable of or brave enough to- to go over the edge, jump off the cliff? Especially when that something goes completely against the culture/conventions you were brought up with.
In my case the something was wanting to wear full female clothing in public, but for me it was-still is!-a really scary thought, and there’s a constant fear or doubt lurking. However thanks in no small way to XDress and you guys in the XD community, sufficient confidence has overcome the fear, and I thought it was worth sharing my journey with you; you've helped me jump off the cliff and I’m flying, so hopefully my experience might encourage some others amongst you to gain that confidence, unshackle yourselves and feel free! I really do hope so.
XDress has been a very recent discovery for me, and boy has it changed my life!
I'll come to the products later, notably the pink satin panties, but the various blogs ring so true and I can identify with so many comments too. You guys are so brave even just talking about this, quite apart from those of you who are also venturing out! Just reading through the comments made me realize that I'm not alone, and that on its own has been a huge confidence builder-you’re inspirational!
Brief background - I'm a straight male, I've never wanted to be a female, but all my life I've wanted to wear lingerie, and there have been periods where it was more or less easy to do so, but it was always in secret. Initially it was a fascination with suspenders and stockings, and the feel of the nylon against my legs. Then the wonderful discovery of pretty silky panties and how lovely and sexy they look and feel.
But that was as far as it went for many years as life took its course. Wearing lingerie with a girl or lady was a dream, but sadly I've never had an understanding girlfriend or SO, and that's probably my fault as much as theirs. I was married for several years, but we drifted apart.
Those years went by with the lingerie desire rumbling in the background, but there was no obvious opportunity to break out-far less the confidence to do so. I did wear panties to work and felt great, but it wasn't going anywhere. I suppose you get comfortable where you are-we all do, don't we?
So what got me out of my comfort zone?
I'm still working it all out, but it's been a mixture of an ongoing process-the “rumble”- and several more recent and specific things, some of which probably seem obvious from the outside although difficult to see yourself at the time, some very surprising- certainly to me-coming completely from left field, but they've all conspired to make me jump off that cliff, and I'm so happy I have finally done it.
After my wife and I split up, I've had more time and opportunity to dress, and that’s been important. My adult daughter is living in, but even so there's been a lot more freedom to slip into bra, panties, stockings and suspenders on a more regular basis and it started to feel more comfortable and natural; I became more relaxed, even when wearing them outside under male clothing.
I added a pink PVC maid's dress from a local seamstress-just gorgeous with white glossy stockings and lingerie-must be a submissive in me trying to get out! Also a wig and shoes-so I was getting there, but still all in secret.
The key catalyst, in my pre-XDress life-was buying silicone breast forms! Having a full bra just makes me really comfortable, I just feel complete. Such a lovely feeling when they warm to your body, and a gorgeous subtle bounce as you move. But what really surprised me was that rather than wanting to hide the breasts from view-the fear factor, counterintuitively I wanted people to know I was wearing them, to see me wearing them. It was a strange sensation, but it probably took me to the cliff edge. It just felt right. So confidence came out winner in this battle!
The lady from the site – Jo Thornton (UK) who supplied them has been so patient, supportive and encouraging("be yourself!") -advising on the right bra style and fit-wonderful customer service.
Everything was making me feel more free, being the me that I wanted to be, it was wonderful but still largely in secret, or disguised when I wore them outside.
I should say at this point that I have been to a fetish event in Birmingham (UK), wearing my maid's outfit-a terrific experience and in public, but a very restricted and totally sympathetic public, so there was no real chance of embarrassment to others, therefore I don't really count it! Embarrassing other people is really my biggest fear-what might/must they be thinking? But I'm sure it helped me just being there.
So having got myself to the cliff edge, what made me jump?
Well it was XDress and you guys-yes! It's all your fault-and thank you from the bottom of my heart! I chanced on the website when googling-more in hope than expectation- "men's pink satin panties" to match my maid's dress, and XDress popped up.
And there were the panties I had to have! What a wonderful product range, and all made for men! Gorgeous panties in lovely styles and shades. I ordered 2 pink pairs +the matching Merry Widow, and while waiting for delivery started reading your blogs-it was as if they had been written for me.
That enthused me, then the panties arrived! As soon as I put them on, that was it! -so pretty, smooth and soft, fit like a dream-it must sound daft, but wearing them felt and looked so good that I knew I was about to go over the edge. That very same evening, shaking like a leaf, I walked up to a new local store, not too far away, for some groceries, wearing my pink satin panties, best lingerie-swopped to black stockings to at least be slightly less conspicuous! - and breast forms, a white top, short black skirt and cardigan, wig and shoes-small heels! The panties just felt drop dead gorgeous-would recommend them to absolutely everyone.
Talk about being scared, but there weren't many people around and it worked out- it was so lovely just to be me, and no longer caring what other people might think. And those I had to speak to, mainly in the store-were so polite! Having walked up there, I floated back home!
So there you are-physically a small step for Georgina but psychologically a huge one-and still coming to terms with it, but so happy and excited to have done it, and will be going up there again soon. Need to tread carefully, so small steps for the time being, but wow!
Next step may be make-up, not sure. I've never used it, preferring to be me as I am-what do you all feel about make-up? Does it add or detract? I know I’ll never look pretty or female, and I’m not too worried about that, but perhaps I ought to try! For me the main thing is that I feel pretty from the panties outwards.
So that's how a shy inherently cautious guy finally got out the door and went public. The confidence to do so came largely from 2 totally unexpected sources-a breast form supplier and XDress, both completely unknown to me until recently.
Thank you XDress!-and I will be back for more pretty panties soon!
Never lose the dream, guys-seek and you shall find!
Love to all,
Georgina
22 comments
I feel great when I’m dressed in feminine clothes. I’m happy being a man and don’t wear makeup or wigs, nor do I feel the need to pass as a woman, but when I’m wearing lingerie, stockings, a dress and heels I feel more alive and more confident in myself. That being said, I’ve never had the courage to dress up in the clothes I love anywhere other than in private. There have been so many times that I’ve tried to challenge myself into taking the plunge and going out while I’m dressed up, but I’ve never actually found the courage. That is until recently!
My usual attempts have involved me putting in a lot of effort getting ready and feeling excited about going out, but then at the last moment not being able to take the final steps, and then regretting it afterwards. I figured that I’d have to force that ultimate step by taking away my ability to back out again, and I actually did just that last week.
I checked into a hotel and spent the whole afternoon getting ready. I took a long shower before shaving my legs and then slipping into my best panties, bra, garter belt and stockings. I’d bought a new dress for the occasion which I zipped myself into before slipping on a pair of heels. I was ready!
I left the hotel room keys on the bedside table and without further thought walked out of the door and let it click shut behind me. There was no going back now! At the very least I’d have to go to the hotel reception for another key while dressed up. I hesitated by the lift for what felt like ages before pressing the button to call it to my floor and descending to the lobby. I checked myself out in the lift mirror and had mixed feelings about my appearance. I loved the look of my body in the figure hugging satin of my new dress, but I also felt panicked because my long held crossdressing secret was about to be exposed. When the lift opened the lobby was busy. There was a queue of people waiting at the reception desk, which I felt awkward joining, and so I just kept walking. I was shaking with nerves as I walked along the busy street outside but just kept going. I’d done it!
I went to a cafe and had a coffee, I went into to a couple of shops and I stopped in a lively bar, all whilst dressed up in the clothes I love. I felt great. Sure, I was aware of people looking at me, and a few people sniggering at the way I looked, but I didn’t care. Nobody commented on my look apart from one woman who said she really liked my dress.
Next time I don’t think I’ll need to lock myself out of my room to take the same steps and I’m already looking for my next outfit.
Krystin I m so similar even without the SO support I keep my toes polished they look sooooo much better I wear bras in the winter almost daily and panties that match I wear women s jeans and sweaters Wish i guts to do heels but i do wear a fairly high boot Stay confident and push that envelope Stevie
It is interesting to read the different feelings guys have for wearing men’s lingerie. I am a masculine gay older man. I have no desire to be a woman or dress as one in public, and I sure couldn’t pass as one either. I simply love wearing beautiful lingerie that certainly looks 100% feminine in private at home. I enjoy cute bras for men too. Since no one has to know, I can wear my panties under my jeans all day. I love the feel of satin and lace on my body. I have worn regular men’s nylon undershorts for years. XDress offers an awesome selection of gorgeous lingerie for men. Wearing them does bring out a feminine side in me, so common in gay men, however expressed. It creates a safe balancing comfort zone. So, outwardly, I can be 100% masculine, but wearing lingerie make me happy and relieves some tension and stress.
Nice to hear everyone sharing their experiences. My GF is supportive and helpful with suggestions. I wear makeup and lipstick daily but I use the “no makeup” makeup look, very subtle with light foundation and concealer. I use matte lipstick that closely matches my natural lip color, along with eyebrow pencil and light mascara and nail polish on my toes. That, along with bikini or thong and a bra undermy regular clothes allows me to express my feminine side. I push the envelope a bit when we go out on weekends, with tight jeans and a blouse along with 3-4” block heels. Can’t do stilettos due to sports injuries to both ankles, but the more I push it, the greater my confidence grows, and the support of my GF is so important. I wish all of you the same
Jon/John-what a lovely story, well done both of you getting this far. That’s a huge step forward, so brave-and once it really sinks in, you’ll feel the confidence/ability to move on further, if you feel you want to.
I was always comfortable in my lingerie, and gradually became more comfortable when fully dressed at home, it felt more natural, and that gradually gave me sufficient confidence to actually go outside.
I’m trying to get out fully dressed at least once a week, and the initial fear/embarrassment is receding, there’s almost a joy-still nervous, but it’s just wonderful.
Well done!