Greetings, my dear readers. Today I’d like to share a few thoughts with you about the journey that we find ourselves on as we explore the more full sense of who we are. What I mean by that rather wordy sentence is that we all started from a certain point in our sense of who we are and are now, in most likelihood, at a different point.
I’ve read enough accounts on the internet to know that some of us began exploring feminine clothing at a very young age, thanks to moms, sisters, and their panty drawer and closet. Very commonly, I have found that those early explorers typically put off all things feminine when reaching puberty and an interest in girls began, and then putting it off further during the early adult years, with establishing careers, marriages, and children, only to return to the desire to explore their feminine selves as they got older.
Others, like me, didn’t really feel free to embrace their sense of the femme self until later in life. Looking back, I find that Angie was peeking out in ways I didn’t know. When the other guys in grade school and high school were playing the drums, tuba, and trumpet, I was drawn to the flute in the 4th grade and fell in love with it. Other guys wore jeans and tee shirts. I wore color-coordinated designer clothes. Other guys were in to rough sports. I was into the arts. Angie was, indeed, peeking out all those developmental years, although I had yet to make her acquaintance.
I don’t know how it was for you, but when I finally had the courage to start actually wearing feminine lingerie, I pretty much overdid it. My panties were the laciest, pinkest, and most flamboyant. When I started outer dressing, my skirts were the shortest, my blouses the most lacy and flounced. Over the years, my taste has moderated to that of a more sedate style, both in lingerie and outer dress. In other words, over the years, I have found my groove.
In talking with others of the gender fluid persuasion, I find this is a fairly typical pattern. We tend to overcompensate at first as we are discovering this missing part of ourselves and, over time, start finding our comfort zone – that place that feels truly to reflect who we are. We are all, male and female, on a continuum from the extreme male (macho man) to the extreme female (girly girl). All of us, male and female, fall somewhere along that continuum. If you are reading this, chances are about 100% that you are not at the macho man end of the spectrum. So where do you fall in the male –female continuum? Only you can really answer that. There is a survey you can take, the COGIATI (Combined Gender Identity and Transsexuality Inventory) that may give you some idea of where you are on the scale from macho man to girly girl, however I will caution you that there is some question and debate as to the validity of the COGIATI inventory, due to inherent bias.
I am very fortunate to be married to a lady that is gender fluid as well. She can dress up as a beautiful and very feminine woman, but is equally comfortable in a flannel shirt, jeans, and work boots. I call her Andi when she is in butch mode, hailing from the BBC TV show, Handy Andy, in the late 1990’s and early 2000’s. She loves to work on the house and in the yard in her Andi outfits. We both understand each other to be basically male and female, but celebrate that there is so much more to both of us and this understanding has made our relationship so much richer.
So back to the main thread of this blog, have you found your groove? Do you know where you fall on the spectrum from macho man to girly girl, or are you still exploring? If you haven’t found your groove – that place where you belong between male and female, no worries. The exploration is half the fun! And oh the shopping that involves!
So get those keyboards rattling. I would love to hear your thoughts and to hear about your journey. Have you found your groove, or are you still a courageous explorer?
Fond regards,
Angie
32 comments
Hi Everyone: This is a great blog to share ideas and stories. My groove started when I was in my teens. Started by wearing my mother’s gloves and high heels. Eventually “graduated” to playing with her make-up. When she caught me, she started buying me my own and we would put on make-up together. Discovered that her clothes fit me perfectly and was totally supportive of my crossdressing.
Got out of dressing for a few years and got back in after discovering all the related online resources. I am definitely not alone! I find wearing satin panties and bra comfortable and above all relaxing. Usually on days off I totally cross dress around the house. I find that my posture is better when I wear high heels, I also use a purse—with all the stuff we have to carry around now—wallet, car keys, planner, cell phone, cigarettes(I am a smoker) there is just not enough pocket space to go around. One big difference from some of the other bloggers—I am openly gay.
In all honesty—coming out of the closet was easier than coming out as a crossdresser.
Always interested in hearing other comments!
Grady, thanks so much for your response. I’m glad you got beyond black, white, and gray in the colors of your panties. There are so many amazing colors and fabrics to enjoy! I’m so glad to hear that your lady embraces you feminine side. Like you, I am blessed with a lady that celebrates my feminine side with me. We are so fortunate! Wear something pretty, my dear.
Angie
Another great topic! I was a late arrival to this facet of my personality. But, i wear daily, and depending on what I’m doing at work, rivals the color I may select. My Miss supports this, and loves laying out my panties for the day, if she’s so inspired to do so. But, she always does a once over before I get dressed. Like many here, I love the thigh highs, panties, garters, and bras I wear while going about my daily routine. I used to stick to the sedate colors, black, whites and grays, but now find that I love color! Almost like the louder the color, the bigger the satisfaction while wearing them. And like many here, just a heterosexual male that appreciates his feminine connection!
My dear readers, you are amazing! Thank you for your responses to this blog. So well thought out, and so sharing in your experiences. Stevie, you are far from alone, and you aren’t a freak by any measure – you are beautifully you. I’m glad you have found your groove! Nathan, if Goth is your thing, more power to you. I’ve got to tell you that the only place where we part company is in the wearing of high heels. I’m such a klutz I would surely break both ankles! Robyn, I’m sorry your wife isn’t accepting, but give her some time. Wives eventually come around if handled gently and slowly. I’m glad you have a female bestie you can share with. That is absolutely solid gold. You might want to refer to my blog, “Getting the Wife Onboard” for some tips on coming out to your wife. Best of luck, my dear sister. Andrew, I’ll just bet your panties are prettier than your female coworkers. As Stevie would say, “Wear something pretty”. Enjoy! Pauley, I’m glad you found that special lady to share in this wonderful experience with you. I share your passion for panties, bras, and sleepwear. The pantyhose you can keep – I find them really uncomfortable. Perhaps someone will come up with pantyhose designed for the male physique? Dean, thanks for your post. I think it is always reassuring to most of us of the gender fluid persuasion to know that there are men out there in such trades as construction that have a love for feminine lingerie. I have corresponded with men in the military, police force, fire fighters, and many professions which only goes to reaffirm the notion that 1) we aren’t a bunch of weirdos, and 2) are far from alone in our embracing of our feminine selves. Thank goodness for XD and BA to provide a community for us, and lovely lingerie!
Fond regards,
Angie
This blog is much like how my life has gone, moms, sisters things and now wives, MILs or my things. I am a str8 man, worked construction but still loved to wear sexy feminine lingerie, and still do. There are many men’s lingerie things out there that are sexy but wearing women’s things is a whole different experience for me anyway.