Support Groups for Crossdressers

Support Groups for Crossdressers

While perusing the magazine section the other day, I came across an article in OUT magazine called “When Your Wife’s Bra Wont Fit You” by Chadwick Moore which talked about the underground world of support groups for gender diverse people and their families.  Specifically, the article featured the New York-based group Crossdressers International (CDI) - a members only support group that works in tandem with Miss Vera’s Finishing School for Boys Who Want to Be Girls.  Ironically, the academy is run by a woman named Veronica Vera who operates the school out of her Chelsea apartment.  


Part of Miss Vera’s mission is to “help wives understand and embrace their husbands’ cross-dressing desires.” The academy also offers a locker room so that closeted crossdressers and people in transition can come together to get dolled up, get make-up and wig lessons, practice walking in heels, or just relax in peace.  Anonymity is crucial so real names are never used.  Essentially, it is a day spa for crossdressers.  

Similar organizations in the USA include:

  • CHIC (Crossdressrs Heterosexual Intersocial Club)

  • Over the Rainbow Transformations in Portland, OR

  • Carla’s Boutique in San Jose, CA

  • Tris Ess Crossdressers

I am definitely a fan of these organizations because, let’s face it, it’s hard out there for a crossdresser, especially heterosexual crossdressers who can’t seem to find a place in this ever evolving world that has to put a label on everything and everyone.  

We would love to hear recommendations from our UK/EU customers on similar support groups on your side of the pond!  Let us know in the comment box below if you are a member of any support groups or crossdressing organizations. Are they useful?  Do you know of any other groups?  Would you join one?

Until you have found your support system, Xdress is proud to be your outlet.  You can always rely on us for cross dressing topics, trends, and of course, amazing panties!  So, put on some heels, let your hair down and fix yourself a cocktail.  It’s happy hour somewhere!

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I have been cross dressing off and on for almost 30 years. I grew up in a very strict mormon household and was always taught that it was wrong and immoral. My parents found my panties one day and sent me to the bishop to talk about what I was doing. I was sent to a Mormon counselor for counseling. He sent me to Sexaholics anonymous because my cross dressing almost always led to self pleasure. I ended up serving a mission for the church, but found a way to get panties while I was out and would wear them whenever I could. I ended up telling the mission president and getting sent home. My wife and I have been married for 17 years and I finally came out to her on our anniversary. She couldn’t have been more supportive! I was amazed. She told me that she didn’t care and that I should just be me. I have dreaded that conversation since we started dating and it went better than I thought. She told me that I could have a space in our room for my clothing and items and she even commented how cool it was that we had matching panties! It’s hard being a cross dresser living in Utah because of the church and judgements. I wish I had more support, but knowing my wife has no problem with it, is a huge step in the right direction for me.


i have been endulging in the art of wearing womens attire for a considerable time – the thrill of the feel -especially sheer pantyhose against a lined pencil skirt or waist slip the feel of a soft white chiffon style blouse.
i also llove swishy underskirt petticoats too

micheal / michelle

This is what I/we have needed. I have the most supportive loving wife. I “came out” to her about a month ago. I am a hetero transvestism if we are labeling. I’m a guy. I have no desire to be a woman. For me it’s about the feel of the material, how something fits and flows. When we were talking she asked all the questions. She would love me and support me in whatever I wanted and needed. I told her I wasn’t gay and wanted men. I wasn’t trans and wanted to be a woman. I didn’t want to bring other people in to our bed. I just wanted to be me. The real me who loves feminine things. I love the smells, the softness, the touch of femininity. I’m normal guy hairy, and she asks me to stay that way. We have had the best time dress & pantie shopping. The sales people seem to know when we buy two of the same thing in different sizes. Her style is way different than mine, but she knows what I like and can dress me to a T. We have had the best sex of our lives the last few weeks and it’s only getting better. I love this time in my life and the women who is with me on the journey. I have became a better husband, father, lover, and friend because I embraced who I was and included her. I keep telling her one day I’ll work up the nerve to do downtown Nashville as a bearded dude in boots and a long dress. For now I’ll keep rocking my xdress panties and my maxi dresses at home. Middle Tennessee fun couple

Dude in a dress in TN

This blog is very relevant to me as I am in the process of bringing out the woman that is within me for my personal well-being and possible relationships. I’ve been inquiring about the “how to” of looking like a woman. It isn’t easy getting the help/advice to do so in a small city. I want the complete look without surgery (figure, make-up, hair and clothing). I do have a decent collection of lingerie but want to have the whole package “in the look” and be able to share that with a SO. Ideally I would love to have a professional portrait taken of me as a beautiful woman in a long flowing OLGA nightgown. It would be a dream come true.


I’ve known since I was 13 that I wanted to wear girls panties and maybe more. I’ve always wondered if I was gay in some way, or weird or I don’t know what. The first few times I tried on panties, they were my stepsister’s. The feeling was electric and I knew I wanted more. But at the same time I was wrestling with what this meant. I decided that it was wrong, at least the part of sneaking into my sister’s room to grab her panties, and after doing so a few times, I decided to stop. Later in my life, I dated a woman who wanted me to wear her panties. I balked at first because I had to be the macho guy but I was screaming in my head “Yes!!!!”. That relationship lasted only a few years and I was back to the desire to wear women’s clothes and the idea that it was somehow wrong. Occasionally I would break down and go to the store and buy a pair of panties and a bra. I’d wear them for 1-4 hours before taking them off. I’d keep them for a couple of weeks then toss them out again because it still felt wrong and I didn’t want to get caught. This went on for several years until my girlfriend and I moved in together. I remember thinking that I’d never be able to wear panties or bras again, and while this realization sucked, I accepted it. I never put on her stuff because I felt it would be a violation of her trust and privacy. Later on we got married. Sometimes I would dream at night about wearing women’s clothes and I’d wake up longing to wear them again. But a few weeks ago my wife and I were talking about sex and I just blurted out that I wanted to buy panties for me to wear. She either didn’t hear me or she didn’t know what to say so she ignored me. A week or two later I found an opening in our conversation to bring it up again. This time she listened and asked questions. Her biggest concern was that there was something else I wanted to tell her like “Oh by the way, I’m gay and want a divorce.” But there wasn’t anything else to add accept that I wanted her. No one else. A few nights later when I was at work she texted me that she had a surprise for me under my pillow. I had a few ideas what could be under there, including divorce paperwork. But to my astonishment, I found four sexy pairs of panties and a red nightie with a matching G-string. Since then she has taken me shopping and bought me two more nighties, stockings, a garter belt and several pairs of panties, a nightgown and a camisole with matching shorts. Last week she came home from a week visiting family in another state with a beautiful pink baby doll nightie. As I write this, I haven’t worn my “guy’s” underwear for three weeks and I’m wearing a gorgeous white nightie with the matching G-string. My wife is very supportive and I’m very lucky to have her. I don’t know if I’ll take my cross dressing any further because I still enjoy being a man with hairy arms, and legs (although I’ve started shaving my legs at her request) and having a deep voice. For now, I find this very sexy and comforting and have no plans to ever stop it again.


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