Good day, dear readers. I hope this blog finds you doing well and enjoying your pretties. I got to thinking about the difference between men’s underwear and women’s panties. Even the very name suggests a sharp distinction – for men it is underwear and for women it is panties. Everyone knows men wear underwear, not panties. Although, women can refer to their underclothing as underwear instead of panties. It smacks at that same double standard that allows little girls to do typically guy things, like climbing trees and playing ball, but a little boy can’t play with dolls.
Men’s underwear is a rather boring topic – you can wear tighty-whities, or boxers. Hmm, not much variation there. I don’t know the reasoning behind the design of tighty-whities, but they look like a medieval torture device to me. I haven’t worn any in the last 35 years or so. I tried boxers a few years ago, just out of curiosity. I found the lack of support unsettling, and at the end of the day I took them off, only to discover that my skin was puckered around the waist line from the elastic waist band. I donated them to a charity thrift shop.
I suspect the reason men’s underwear is so limited can be summed up in one word; stereotyping. If a man wants to wear women’s panties, the almost immediate response I get is 'obviously he’s not straight' The reality is that the large majority of cross dressers are straight and in a relationship with a woman, according to every survey I have read. To have a feminine side is not an issue of sexual preference. It is an issue of sensing oneself as more than a binary male.
In recent years, the men’s underwear industry has experimented a bit with design and type of material, but you won’t find lace or bows on those “underwear”. Oh no, that would be as bad as a little boy playing with dolls! So, while they have experimented a bit, onward still they trudge with very limited choice.
Contrast the boring sameness of male underclothing to the amazing world of women’s panties. The colors, styles, type of material – what fun! Until I discovered XDress and Body Aware, I wore women’s panties and enjoyed discovering all the styles to find out what worked and what didn’t for my particular form. The only drawback is that the gusset is cut for a woman’s physique and is too narrow to support the needs of a man. It was a good day when I stumbled across a men’s lingerie boutique called XDress. Wow! Panties actually designed for men! I’m sure by now I qualify for the status of Preferred Customer. Why, they even have bras designed for men. Who would ever have thunk it? Many years past, I had a choice of tighty-whities or….thighty-whities. Now, for many years, every morning is fun – what pair of panties shall I wear today. It is fun every day!
In years past, before the advent of the internet, I thought I was alone in this. If you are in my age group (as in cross dressing before the internet) I’ll bet you thought you were the only one too. If anyone discovered I was wearing panties, they probably would have hidden their children from me.
Well, we do have an internet now, and the fact that there are boutiques such as XDress and Body Aware certainly does away with the notion that there are only a few of us strange men who like to wear panties and bras. They wouldn’t have been in business for over 20 years if that weren't true. No, we aren’t just a few. We are the folks that like lace and bows and satin. I have an idea – remember when the feminists had bra burning parties? Why don’t we have a tighty-whitie and boxer burning party?
So much for my thoughts. I’d love to hear what thoughts this article might have stirred up for you. Let me hear from you. In the meanwhile, enjoy those panties!
Ah, panties! Your blog post took me back to the first time I wore those wonderful little things. It was a beautiful spring day during my senior year at college. I was over at my girlfriend’s apartment while she was out having lunch with some friends. I was reading her copy of the latest issue of Cosmo (I always told myself I just liked looking at the models, but I eventually realized something else was going on). Suddenly, I got an urge I couldn’t resist—I had to put on a pair of my gf’s panties! I got up from the couch and went into her bedroom, and quickly found her panty drawer. I grabbed a pair right off the top, a simple white cotton bikini bottom with a little lace trim. They felt so soft! I didn’t know when she was coming back, but I couldn’t wait. I hurriedly took off my pants and boxers, and started to put on the panties.
And then something happened that I will never forget. Before I could even get the panties up passed my knees, I had the biggest hard on I had ever had! All sorts of thoughts started going through my head, but I had to keep going. When I had them all the way on, I didn’t fit inside them, of course, but it didn’t matter. I was more turned on than I had ever been in my life. I had enough of my wits left to know that I couldn’t get completely carried away, or just stand there and wait for my gf to come back. She was the classic girl next door, and this wasn’t something she would understand. So I put my pants back on and my boxers in my pocket, and wrote her a short note saying something had come up, pun intended, and raced back to my place.
Suffice it to say, I had one of the most wonderful afternoons of my life just hanging out in my gf’s panties. It felt so sexy, and so relaxing the same time, a relaxation I had never felt before. I knew my life had changed in ways I only dimly understood at that point. But I knew it was time to start making a new life somewhere, so after graduation I headed to Southern California and its beautiful beaches, a place where men can wear bikini bottoms that look just like a woman’s—and maybe they are. I soon met a woman who loved to dress up her man en femme, and so began a journey that continues to this day. Thanks for the memories, Angie!
Hello cuties! We are changing the world! We wear our beautiful lingerie! We are talking about it! I ordered a nice lace old-fashioned garter belt! I have been studying a new line of my life! Every morning I stand in front of my mirror. I think about myself – How cute! You wear your bra, panties and stockings as a real lady! You such a feminine! I am so happy!
Be happy every day my friends!
Hi guys! Today I am at work! I’m wearing my ivory lace panties and bra!I think…Probably, my panties are more beautiful than panties of my female colleagues!It makes me laugh!It is so cute!It is cool!
Andrew and Stevie, you are so much fun! I love your enthusiasm for what we all love. White lace panties, Andrew? I love it! Stevie, wearing a jacket and panties and bra! Awesome! You both make me smile. I’m sitting here wearing lacy black panties and bra (from Xdress of course) and have loved feeling both all day. Like Stevie said, “wear something pretty.”
Hi Andrew (and Angie and everyone)
Today I wore aspirts jacket so I was able to wear a bra and panty set that’s see thru and oh so sexy
I’ve felt all day with “our” little secret!
Wear something pretty today
Hi Angie and everyone!Thanks for your kind words!I’m at work now and I’m wearing my cute white lace panties!I absolutely agree that my panties make me happy! Have a nice day every day with your amazing and magnificent lingerie!
Welcome to our little sorority, Andrew. Andrew and Stevie, I love your exuberance and enthusiasm for our difference from the boring norm of men’s underdress. Every day is an adventure when you get dressed in the morning! Hmm, what panties to wear? Hmm, what bra to wear? Hmm, maybe a cami too today? What fun it is! As Stevie said, wear something pretty today!
Well, the comments are flowing and the blog is active which is great; kudos to Angie again and XD and BA.
What I am learning from all of you is that we are not weird perverts or disgusting! We are different from the so called norm BUT we are ourselves and there is nothing wrong with being yourself and liking what you like.
Freedom to be yourself feels so good and this site helps promote that which is sooooo cool
Wear something pretty today- I am !
Nicely said, K. I’ll join you in that toast to David and Kristina. Glad you mentioned that strange contraption on the front of tighty whities. I never did figure out what the purpose of that fly was. Doesn’t matter now, thankfully.
Hello, my new friends! I love you all! We are the best! We wear such nice panties! Thanks God and BA/XD! It’s our choice! It’s normal to be in the lace panties and bra! I wear it every day! I’m so happy because I found myself! I’m not interested in another opinion! We have to be ourselves! Someone’s wearing their terrible ordinary men’s underwear! They do not know about our pleasant feelings!
Ugh, tighty-whities!! What a god awfully horrible punishment they were and that fly on the front, who are the psychopaths that were using that to go to the bathroom? I’d have wet myself before being able to navigate that maze to tinkletown.
If I still owned a pair I’d gladly burn them in solidarity with the rest of you, however I’m going to take a wild guess and say that there isn’t a person in here that still owns a pair so instead let’s just pop the cork on a bottle of Prosecco, raise a glass to David and his wife and toast to their forward thinking, impeccable fashion sense and inability to be beat down by American prudishness.
Our “drawers” will never be the same.
Kimmi, my dear, how lovely to hear from you. Yes, we have been internet friends for so long, and I am so fond of you. What a pity it is that your wife is not onboard enthusiastically with you about your inner femme. I know, from our long friendship, that your inner girl is very important to you. Please know, dear friend, that I celebrate that about you. Perhaps your wife will soften up about the whole issue with time. Give her time, dear sister, and be patient with her.
I have known Angie now for over six years- early January 2013, just a few months after breaking out of Internet “stealth” after many years. It’s great to read Angie’s postings and perspective on this blog.
Like so many, I am married and have my wife as my only love. Unlike others, I have always known I came wired with a (lot of?) girl inside. It’s simply me and part of my balance.
I have always been a panties girl. Over time, my wife became less enthused with me in panties or other lingerie. it takes two to tango and bless her heart, she accepts that I will dress when she is not around- and she is ok as long as this is in private.
I love panties and always have. It’s not simply that panties are wonderful in my case. For me, panties signify my femininity and inner girl.
Thanks for making us all reflect, Angie. It’s heartening to see such an engaged readership!
Christine and Pauley, I find your comments very interesting, in terms of labels. What then shall we call ourselves? I came across a quote just today which seems to nicely reply to this whole issue: “Ten labels or a thousand labels, they may describe what we are, but not who we are.” Indeed labels do not describe us as human beings. In fairness to labeling, we have a human need to categorize things, in order to bring a sense of order to our world. I quite agree with you, Christine, that “Hairy panty wearer” is a most disgusting term, and certainly is pejorative to all of us that embrace the softer side of ourselves. Still, we label and categorize our world. Objections to labels do not remove that basic human need to organize our sense of order in the world. For some time now I have referred to myself as “gender fluid.” That describes not only what I am, but also who I am. I am indeed fluid in gender identity, as is my dear wife. Neither of us prescribe to the rather strict and binary definitions of male and female, although our biological assignment is certainly binary. I really don’t think a debate (or the attack) of the evils of labels gets to the core of what we should be concerned with. The core issue is that we have a fuller sense of who we are, and we struggle with a society that insists that we must be one or the other, when in fact we are both. How we dress, is simply and outward expression of an inner knowledge of who we truly are. Thank you, Xdress and Body Aware, that you give us that outlet – to outwardly what we experience inwardly. The issue of labels is hardly of concern when we seek acceptance for, not what we are, but who we are.
I don’t like tags so it goes without saying that, I don’t refer to myself as a crossdresser, a transvestite or a Hairy panty wearer (HPW), the latter a derogatory term that is occasionally used by some transvestites / Crossdressers to describe those of us who have body hair. The prejudices and discrimination that used to be rampant in this country has diminished substantially over the past ten years. I am just a normal guy who prefers to wear absolutely anything that a woman might wear and in recent years I spend more time in feminine clothing than in my Male clothing, in fact the only time I wear Male clothing is when I’m at work or if I go into town with my wife on a Saturday for a coffee.
I have actually lost count the number of times that I have been on shopping trips or over night stays fully en femm and I have never experienced any negative comments or reactions from anyone, or at least not that I am aware of. No doubt some might snigger or pass comment behind my back but, I honestly don’t care as it’s them who has a problem and not me. I have a very extensive wardrobe collection that would be the envy of many women, a fact that my wife often comments upon. When I go out dressed I like to make a really good effort to coordinate my outfit, I like to dress appropriately for my age and whatever venue or location I am visiting. On the whole I tend to buy good quality clothing from well known fashion retailers, I complete my outfits by wearing coordinating accessories which includes jewellery, gloves, handbags and scarves.
It is essential when going out en femme that you make a serious effort to really look the part, it is always a good idea to really study what other women are wearing and how they act, the more time, effort and money you put into dressing will ultimately determine how successful and satisfying your en femme outings will be. My biggest regret is that it has only been in the last ten years that I have chosen to go out fully en femme, that said, prior to this there was still quite a fair bit of prejudice around so I suppose I just have to enjoy my current outings. One of the most annoying and frustrating things that I encounter is the fact that, it is almost impossible to find good quality, on trend leather shoes, boots and sandals that fit my size 9 slightly wide feet. I have a good few hundred pairs of shoes & boots but most are just that little bit too narrow and years of squeezing my feet into high heeled shoes that I knew were too tight have left me with constant pain in both feet.
I am probably a bit OCD when it comes to my en femme dressing but, the fact is that it doesn’t matter what you choose to wear or to what extent, the only thing that matters is that you get some pleasure out of it. If anyone has an objection, makes a derogatory comment or mocks you in any way they are merely showing how ignorant and intolerant they are. I personally love everything about being a woman, I am utterly passionate about handbags, scarves, gloves footwear and silky soft feminine materials. I am not what some might refer to as “convincing” when dressed en femme, by that I mean that, I couldn’t pass facially as a woman, very few men can and I wouldn’t kid myself or anyone else into thinking differently. I do however have a vast choice of clothing to choose from so when I do go out, I definitely look the part (my wife has even commented on how good I look even in comparison to her).
I wouldn’t want anyone to think that, I am being big headed about how nice I look when I go out en femme (I have in fact made many faux pas over the years with my choice of outfits) however, these days my ability to coordinate has definitely improved and I also take into account the comments that I receive from others about my dress style, I have often been complimented on my efforts by other men, some of whom have even snogged me as a result so as they say, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.
HI all. What great responses you all have contributed to this blog. Thank you so much for taking time to share your thoughts. Stevie, I think you are absolutely on to something. If someone is trying figure out how to out himself to his SO, having her read these blogs might help, in terms of helping her see that her SO is far from alone in his love for his femme side. As you said Stevie, these blogs are very clean and decent and also reflect a good level of intelligence in the responses. My sincere thanks to Xdress for monitoring the site and ensuring nothing sordid ever makes it to print.
why is it that women are turned off by guys liking and wearing panties nylons bras & nighties??
My 1st wife started it as a bet,( I LOST) she had it planed. She had an outfit of ice blue lingerie set . see through robe garter , nylons. bra & panties
we had fun .She would come home with some thing new 3 times & week . She passed , So new wife I kinda hinted but she dead against it. So I’m back in the shadows .waiting for when she goes out to dress
Great blog! This one really stimulated a lot of discussion and support! Kudos to Angie for running this blog!
Great thing about this site and blog is that its clean and brings to life those of us who live in the shadows of various levels or places along the gender spectrum. It brings light to the fact that we are just regular guys gurls girls that are right among everyday people. Its a great reference for SOs if and when you finally tell them
Wear something pretty today!
I would also like to thank you Keri, as well as everyone else who has commented for sharing your experiences. Keri’s mention of the “self conscious mode” is precisely what I am trying to get out of. I only started dressing femininely in public a few weeks ago. That includes all kinds of skirts, tops, boots, hosiery, and occasionally makeup. It is very difficult to simply be in a relaxed state of mind, one free from self-conscious and anxious thoughts about what others are thinking.
What brings me closer to being free of my inhibitions is people such as my girlfriend, who encourages me to dress how I want and not care what others think. Then there is the people I meet online like all of you, who have lived through the same experiences and overcame their anxieties. You have inspired me in knowing that it can and will get better.
Dressing femininely already feels more natural for me, as I feel generally happier when doing so. I even feel slightly off and out of place when I am wearing my drab male clothes (of course I still wear lingerie underneath), which only happens a couple times a week at most. This is just another reason I know dressing how I desire will not cause me to be self-conscious for much longer.
Everyone’s experiences here truly do warm my heart as I know we are not alone. Like Angie said, a family does indeed seem to be forming here. Thank you all.
Loved reading all those blogs!
Personally I have more fem clothes than my faience I have two full drawers of sexy panties half have a pouch made for men the others are ladies underwear I bought before I found pouch panties, victorias secret are my favourite and most cumfy by far, my partner doesn’t mind me wearing panties or a silky nighty to bed even if it is more fem than her oversized mens t shirt she wears to bed. she doesn’t like the idea of me wearing skirts dresses or a ladies blouse even though I have worn a few on nights out and asked her opinion on weather or not she likes it on me after and when she said it’s cute I’d tell her it’s actually a ladies blouse 😊 and she didn’t notice! I’m hoping in the future I’ll get to wear skirts and dresses around the house and not just when I’m home alone I can’t wait for the day when I can go out in public and not be judged! We should all wear what ever we feel most comfortable in!
It’s great to see so much conversation flowing here, as we share and discuss something that would fry the brain of the “general” population. David, your perspective on the difference in acceptance between the UK and US is very eye opening. I haven’t traveled to a different country yet, but I can still say that the US typically progresses slower in accepting new ideas compared to other countries from what I’ve seen in media.
Even if some of us are comfortable enough to go out publically fully dressed up with makeup and accessories, there will still always be that one neuron in our brain that is still active. You know, the one that reminds us what we do is unnatural to some, and that we need to be cautious when and where we do it. My dream is to be as comfortable as any other woman is when she dresses up publically in a skirt, blouse, hosiery, heels, and makeup.
With the amount of people I see commenting here, as well as the fact that businesses such as XD and BA are flourishing, I believe my dream is not so far fetched.
We are all are quite brave to do what we do. Hopefully, we can be the spark that ignites a revolution.
Have a great day everyone.
I’ve been busy the past couple of weeks and am just now catching up with the blog and wow, there are some great comments. So interesting to hear about the beginnings of Xdress, thanks David for sharing the story. I’m enjoying my panties and my GF got me some skinny jeans so we’re shopping for heels this weekend! Have fun gurls!!
Handbags or purses have received considerable mention in this Blog. Stevie mentioned a Coach bag and my eyebrows went up as that is the brand my wife bought me for Valentine Day. A woman’s Coach Saddle Bag. Stevie made me think is this bag to femme? Have I become conditioned to the point where I can’t tell anymore? Maybe. I only felt slightly aware of this purse because of size. I love it though and you can carry a lot. Perhaps it helps to be older and have some grey hair when carrying a purse. I have never received a negative comment. I have received, usually from women, that they like that I carry a purse or bag. The number one reason I get is that women don’t like to be the dumping ground for keys, phones etc. That was how my wife purchased my first ladies purse.
That first purse by the way was my break in. It was small. Slightly larger than a clutch. Shoulder strap. Here was the killer though. A very pale blue silk lining which was so visible when you opened it. Making it even tougher was the makeup mirror on the flap. It took several outings before I stopped being really self conscious. Like everything else I have done (on the feminine side) you get past the self conscious mode. Unisex looking women’s tops, shorts, sox, sneakers etc. Eventually they become second nature.
Thanks guys and gurls.
Great blog, I would just like to add that we have to come a long way for us all to be accepted and comfortable about our choices, I personal love to shop for underwear with my wife or on my own, it’s funny how different people look at you if you are a guy going through lingerie on your own, personally I really don’t mind and find it amusing especially if you ask for help, I love to wear lace, silk fishnet and find it not only comfortable but very sexy, my wife doesn’t mind at all and encourages it especially for our nights of fun together but I think the problem is deeper.
I am a European now living in the USA, before we go to lingerie have you been to the beach? look at European men, most wear speedos, trunks, thongs etc made from lightweight spandex materials and very comfortable for swimming, but jump to most USA beaches, all the men wearing board shorts down below their knees and a lot with boxers underneath that, ?? I don’t get it, they stay wet for hours collect sand and are heavy and uncomfortable but that is what most guys believe is beach dress. Screw that, lets get sexy on the beach and get comfortable.
Anyway one of my rants but I am definitely in with the whole lets wear what we like, for most guys most of it would never be revealed but it sure does make the day better and our outer clothes fit better. A nice pair of silky panties under your dress pants is way better than a whole bunch of cotton wrinkled up with large waistbands etc, I know you’ll all agree that wearing a dress or skirt is amazing and very free and sexy too, I quite often in the evening wear a lightweight nightdress around the house just because it feels good after a day in the office constrained in my man gear, if we are all honest men were wearing skirts a long time ago in Scotland and Ireland but they just called them kilts and those guys were tougher than tough, also going back in history men wore nightshirts to bed as well and no one thought anything of it!
Thanks for reading my thoughts and I hope you all enjoy sexy clothes and feminine products for a long long time
Greetings, my dear friend David, and thank you for weighing in, and please know it is an honor to have you post on this blog. You and Kristina have contributed so much to us who embrace our feminine side. (Please give Kristina my fond regards.) Because of your courage to step out and offer what so many of us desire, we now have a society where we can freely express ourselves, both in clothing and in conversations such as this. Yes, American society is very slow to accept us, but it seems we are gaining acceptance in a very slow fashion. It is good people like you and Kristina that is helping to gain that acceptance.
It’s interesting that the subject of purses came into this conversation. I’ve openly worn a purse for many years now, and have never had a negative comment about it, even in the very conservative part of the country in which I live. I have a male friend who uses one as well, although he calls it a murse. I don’t call it a murse or a man bag – I call it what it is – a purse. That actually is the grammatically correct name for it. Wearing women’s skinny jeans, I don’t have the pockets necessary to carry everything, so a purse is a necessary accessory.
Again, thanks for weighing in, David. You and Kristina are so appreciated for what you do!