Good day, dear readers. I hope this blog finds you doing well and enjoying your pretties. I got to thinking about the difference between men’s underwear and women’s panties. Even the very name suggests a sharp distinction – for men it is underwear and for women it is panties. Everyone knows men wear underwear, not panties. Although, women can refer to their underclothing as underwear instead of panties. It smacks at that same double standard that allows little girls to do typically guy things, like climbing trees and playing ball, but a little boy can’t play with dolls.
Men’s underwear is a rather boring topic – you can wear tighty-whities, or boxers. Hmm, not much variation there. I don’t know the reasoning behind the design of tighty-whities, but they look like a medieval torture device to me. I haven’t worn any in the last 35 years or so. I tried boxers a few years ago, just out of curiosity. I found the lack of support unsettling, and at the end of the day I took them off, only to discover that my skin was puckered around the waist line from the elastic waist band. I donated them to a charity thrift shop.
I suspect the reason men’s underwear is so limited can be summed up in one word; stereotyping. If a man wants to wear women’s panties, the almost immediate response I get is 'obviously he’s not straight' The reality is that the large majority of cross dressers are straight and in a relationship with a woman, according to every survey I have read. To have a feminine side is not an issue of sexual preference. It is an issue of sensing oneself as more than a binary male.
In recent years, the men’s underwear industry has experimented a bit with design and type of material, but you won’t find lace or bows on those “underwear”. Oh no, that would be as bad as a little boy playing with dolls! So, while they have experimented a bit, onward still they trudge with very limited choice.
Contrast the boring sameness of male underclothing to the amazing world of women’s panties. The colors, styles, type of material – what fun! Until I discovered XDress and Body Aware, I wore women’s panties and enjoyed discovering all the styles to find out what worked and what didn’t for my particular form. The only drawback is that the gusset is cut for a woman’s physique and is too narrow to support the needs of a man. It was a good day when I stumbled across a men’s lingerie boutique called XDress. Wow! Panties actually designed for men! I’m sure by now I qualify for the status of Preferred Customer. Why, they even have bras designed for men. Who would ever have thunk it? Many years past, I had a choice of tighty-whities or….thighty-whities. Now, for many years, every morning is fun – what pair of panties shall I wear today. It is fun every day!
In years past, before the advent of the internet, I thought I was alone in this. If you are in my age group (as in cross dressing before the internet) I’ll bet you thought you were the only one too. If anyone discovered I was wearing panties, they probably would have hidden their children from me.
Well, we do have an internet now, and the fact that there are boutiques such as XDress and Body Aware certainly does away with the notion that there are only a few of us strange men who like to wear panties and bras. They wouldn’t have been in business for over 20 years if that weren't true. No, we aren’t just a few. We are the folks that like lace and bows and satin. I have an idea – remember when the feminists had bra burning parties? Why don’t we have a tighty-whitie and boxer burning party?
So much for my thoughts. I’d love to hear what thoughts this article might have stirred up for you. Let me hear from you. In the meanwhile, enjoy those panties!
Fond regards,
Angie
55 comments
Christine and Pauley, I find your comments very interesting, in terms of labels. What then shall we call ourselves? I came across a quote just today which seems to nicely reply to this whole issue: “Ten labels or a thousand labels, they may describe what we are, but not who we are.” Indeed labels do not describe us as human beings. In fairness to labeling, we have a human need to categorize things, in order to bring a sense of order to our world. I quite agree with you, Christine, that “Hairy panty wearer” is a most disgusting term, and certainly is pejorative to all of us that embrace the softer side of ourselves. Still, we label and categorize our world. Objections to labels do not remove that basic human need to organize our sense of order in the world. For some time now I have referred to myself as “gender fluid.” That describes not only what I am, but also who I am. I am indeed fluid in gender identity, as is my dear wife. Neither of us prescribe to the rather strict and binary definitions of male and female, although our biological assignment is certainly binary. I really don’t think a debate (or the attack) of the evils of labels gets to the core of what we should be concerned with. The core issue is that we have a fuller sense of who we are, and we struggle with a society that insists that we must be one or the other, when in fact we are both. How we dress, is simply and outward expression of an inner knowledge of who we truly are. Thank you, Xdress and Body Aware, that you give us that outlet – to outwardly what we experience inwardly. The issue of labels is hardly of concern when we seek acceptance for, not what we are, but who we are.
Fond regards,
Angie
I don’t like tags so it goes without saying that, I don’t refer to myself as a crossdresser, a transvestite or a Hairy panty wearer (HPW), the latter a derogatory term that is occasionally used by some transvestites / Crossdressers to describe those of us who have body hair. The prejudices and discrimination that used to be rampant in this country has diminished substantially over the past ten years. I am just a normal guy who prefers to wear absolutely anything that a woman might wear and in recent years I spend more time in feminine clothing than in my Male clothing, in fact the only time I wear Male clothing is when I’m at work or if I go into town with my wife on a Saturday for a coffee.
I have actually lost count the number of times that I have been on shopping trips or over night stays fully en femm and I have never experienced any negative comments or reactions from anyone, or at least not that I am aware of. No doubt some might snigger or pass comment behind my back but, I honestly don’t care as it’s them who has a problem and not me. I have a very extensive wardrobe collection that would be the envy of many women, a fact that my wife often comments upon. When I go out dressed I like to make a really good effort to coordinate my outfit, I like to dress appropriately for my age and whatever venue or location I am visiting. On the whole I tend to buy good quality clothing from well known fashion retailers, I complete my outfits by wearing coordinating accessories which includes jewellery, gloves, handbags and scarves.
It is essential when going out en femme that you make a serious effort to really look the part, it is always a good idea to really study what other women are wearing and how they act, the more time, effort and money you put into dressing will ultimately determine how successful and satisfying your en femme outings will be. My biggest regret is that it has only been in the last ten years that I have chosen to go out fully en femme, that said, prior to this there was still quite a fair bit of prejudice around so I suppose I just have to enjoy my current outings. One of the most annoying and frustrating things that I encounter is the fact that, it is almost impossible to find good quality, on trend leather shoes, boots and sandals that fit my size 9 slightly wide feet. I have a good few hundred pairs of shoes & boots but most are just that little bit too narrow and years of squeezing my feet into high heeled shoes that I knew were too tight have left me with constant pain in both feet.
I am probably a bit OCD when it comes to my en femme dressing but, the fact is that it doesn’t matter what you choose to wear or to what extent, the only thing that matters is that you get some pleasure out of it. If anyone has an objection, makes a derogatory comment or mocks you in any way they are merely showing how ignorant and intolerant they are. I personally love everything about being a woman, I am utterly passionate about handbags, scarves, gloves footwear and silky soft feminine materials. I am not what some might refer to as “convincing” when dressed en femme, by that I mean that, I couldn’t pass facially as a woman, very few men can and I wouldn’t kid myself or anyone else into thinking differently. I do however have a vast choice of clothing to choose from so when I do go out, I definitely look the part (my wife has even commented on how good I look even in comparison to her).
I wouldn’t want anyone to think that, I am being big headed about how nice I look when I go out en femme (I have in fact made many faux pas over the years with my choice of outfits) however, these days my ability to coordinate has definitely improved and I also take into account the comments that I receive from others about my dress style, I have often been complimented on my efforts by other men, some of whom have even snogged me as a result so as they say, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.
HI all. What great responses you all have contributed to this blog. Thank you so much for taking time to share your thoughts. Stevie, I think you are absolutely on to something. If someone is trying figure out how to out himself to his SO, having her read these blogs might help, in terms of helping her see that her SO is far from alone in his love for his femme side. As you said Stevie, these blogs are very clean and decent and also reflect a good level of intelligence in the responses. My sincere thanks to Xdress for monitoring the site and ensuring nothing sordid ever makes it to print.
Fond regards,
Angie
why is it that women are turned off by guys liking and wearing panties nylons bras & nighties??
My 1st wife started it as a bet,( I LOST) she had it planed. She had an outfit of ice blue lingerie set . see through robe garter , nylons. bra & panties
we had fun .She would come home with some thing new 3 times & week . She passed , So new wife I kinda hinted but she dead against it. So I’m back in the shadows .waiting for when she goes out to dress
Hi all
Great blog! This one really stimulated a lot of discussion and support! Kudos to Angie for running this blog!
Great thing about this site and blog is that its clean and brings to life those of us who live in the shadows of various levels or places along the gender spectrum. It brings light to the fact that we are just regular guys gurls girls that are right among everyday people. Its a great reference for SOs if and when you finally tell them
Wear something pretty today!
Stevie