Good day, dear readers. I hope this blog finds you doing well and enjoying your pretties. I got to thinking about the difference between men’s underwear and women’s panties. Even the very name suggests a sharp distinction – for men it is underwear and for women it is panties. Everyone knows men wear underwear, not panties. Although, women can refer to their underclothing as underwear instead of panties. It smacks at that same double standard that allows little girls to do typically guy things, like climbing trees and playing ball, but a little boy can’t play with dolls.
Men’s underwear is a rather boring topic – you can wear tighty-whities, or boxers. Hmm, not much variation there. I don’t know the reasoning behind the design of tighty-whities, but they look like a medieval torture device to me. I haven’t worn any in the last 35 years or so. I tried boxers a few years ago, just out of curiosity. I found the lack of support unsettling, and at the end of the day I took them off, only to discover that my skin was puckered around the waist line from the elastic waist band. I donated them to a charity thrift shop.
I suspect the reason men’s underwear is so limited can be summed up in one word; stereotyping. If a man wants to wear women’s panties, the almost immediate response I get is 'obviously he’s not straight' The reality is that the large majority of cross dressers are straight and in a relationship with a woman, according to every survey I have read. To have a feminine side is not an issue of sexual preference. It is an issue of sensing oneself as more than a binary male.
In recent years, the men’s underwear industry has experimented a bit with design and type of material, but you won’t find lace or bows on those “underwear”. Oh no, that would be as bad as a little boy playing with dolls! So, while they have experimented a bit, onward still they trudge with very limited choice.
Contrast the boring sameness of male underclothing to the amazing world of women’s panties. The colors, styles, type of material – what fun! Until I discovered XDress and Body Aware, I wore women’s panties and enjoyed discovering all the styles to find out what worked and what didn’t for my particular form. The only drawback is that the gusset is cut for a woman’s physique and is too narrow to support the needs of a man. It was a good day when I stumbled across a men’s lingerie boutique called XDress. Wow! Panties actually designed for men! I’m sure by now I qualify for the status of Preferred Customer. Why, they even have bras designed for men. Who would ever have thunk it? Many years past, I had a choice of tighty-whities or….thighty-whities. Now, for many years, every morning is fun – what pair of panties shall I wear today. It is fun every day!
In years past, before the advent of the internet, I thought I was alone in this. If you are in my age group (as in cross dressing before the internet) I’ll bet you thought you were the only one too. If anyone discovered I was wearing panties, they probably would have hidden their children from me.
Well, we do have an internet now, and the fact that there are boutiques such as XDress and Body Aware certainly does away with the notion that there are only a few of us strange men who like to wear panties and bras. They wouldn’t have been in business for over 20 years if that weren't true. No, we aren’t just a few. We are the folks that like lace and bows and satin. I have an idea – remember when the feminists had bra burning parties? Why don’t we have a tighty-whitie and boxer burning party?
So much for my thoughts. I’d love to hear what thoughts this article might have stirred up for you. Let me hear from you. In the meanwhile, enjoy those panties!
Fond regards,
Angie
55 comments
I think you are onto something Keri. If there was a male character in the movies or on TV that wore panties and lingerie but was not doing so for laughs or sexual desires or transitioning, then yes I think it would start the acceptance of wearing male lingerie. I am sure all of us here have been caught and received the laughter or finger pointing just because our desire and selections of under garments are different from the so called male norm.
But getting it to be the norm or more acceptable outside our circle requires a shift in the male perspective and definition. Wearing panties does not make us any less a man than the boxer wearing man. I remember when bikini underwear became popular with sports figures like Jim Palmer advertising the new underwear for men in magazines and on TV. It was like overnight that boys and men started wearing the no fly bikini style of underwear. Maybe that is what we need today … a male sports+ hero or star advertising the Xdress panties. This could revolutionize the brand into being what the male norm should be for undergarments. Oh how I wish it would. But until then I will do my part and wear my panties with honour and pride everyday.
Hello Everyone,
Another great post by Angie,
Clearly we all would love to see the acceptance of guys like us wearing panties, bras and other lingerie without being judged. I posted many blogs previously that we are where women were back in the seventies. I was at a bra burning demonstration when women were tossing bras and girdles (very uncomfortable I always thought) into a fire. They were freeing themselves of the binding CORSETRY of the day.
The question is are we at that day where guys can toss their tightie whities and boxers into the a boxer burning demonstration? Maybe. Thanks to sites like XDress maybe we are. I do however feel we would have to gain the support of the LGBTQ Community as a group to have a bigger impact. This would be in addition to the straight community of men that would and do enjoy wearing panties. Speaking for myself I would love to see this happen.
I am older but not old enough to recall when a major Hollywood male star appeared in a film with no t shirt. I am told that scene began the trend of men not wearing t shirts. It might also be a big help if one or more major Hollywood male stars appeared in films wearing panties and bras. We are all used to seeing many gay actors, comedians and others on TV, the internet etc. Maybe one of these popular series shows where one of the leads wears panties and bras openly on a regular basis.
Oh well, we can hope.
Hugs, Keri
There is definitely a set of double standards that men and women place on each other – even boiling the argument down to “men” and “women” puts an unfair set of expectations and standards on people to conform to one or the other.
Women have “earned the right” to wear trousers, powersuits, whatever they want without judgement – in fact, they often get slut shamed for wearing highly “feminine” clothing. Men, on the other hand, typically must still be “Men”… or gay. It takes a strong person to buck the system (a woman who refuses to wear makeup or a man who does) and deal with the bullying, cultural shame, or social ostracism that often follows.
Should women be socially allowed to go dress themselves up however they please (makeup or not, “fem” or “masculine” clothes, etc.) ABSOLUTELY. Should men have the same cultural privilege? A resounding YES. And the only way it’s going to happen is if people start acting accordingly. Someone always has to burst the bubble of social norms – and they often become pariahs for it – but it is only those brave few that allow the rest of us to stand on their shoulders and make our own statement.
So keep up the good fight BA, XDress, and every customer that buys/wears with confidence. It is when large numbers change their consciousness that cultural change happens.
Hi sisters:
Angie and Stevie you both hit the nail on the head. Tighty whities were the male equivalent of girdles! Thankfully i recently found xdress which is a fantastic site. Love the blog, not to mention the panties. I haven’t tried the bras yet, mainly because my GF isn’t totally on board with the whole crossdressing thing yet but I think she might eventually come around. The other day she out of the blue suggested we get a pedicure together and I was so excited I couldn’t stand it. She was even cool with me getting nail polish! Angie, I decided to try your pink frost and loved it.
Anyway sorry for the stream of consciousness rambling. I do think a burning party is just the thing to break down old barriers and explore all the fabulous options now available to us.
All the best,
Kyrstin
Angie, hello my sister in xdress
Men s underwear is indeed not that exciting despite calvin klein and 2exist.
It’s unfortunate that lace and satin is not acceptable for men. Let alone bras!
But xdress and bodyaware have fixed all that! Thank you! I like women’s panties and bras on me and them lol
I’m glad now men have better fitting male options. There are so many of us !
A burning party may be just the thing to make people aware that we are here and we come in all sizes shapes and colors and genders and all along the gender spectrum!
Once again great job in topic selection Angie
Stevie