Hello again, dear readers!
Instead of talking about fashion or shopping today, I would like to discuss a somewhat more intimidating topic; presenting en femme around others. This includes everyone from your doctor, an old friend and even your mother in-law.
When I first began presenting myself en femme, I had a lot of fear about who would see and judge me for it. I only ever dressed up at home when I wasn't planning on going out, and even then I was nervous to do this around my girlfriend. I had spent the first 20 years of my life living the way society had expected me to. This resulted in an excess amount of fear and anxiety of others, even if they happened to be polite. That is no way to live for anyone.
To begin building confidence, you must continue to step out of your comfort zone and dress feminine as many places as possible. I personally began with places that we all go, the grocery store and any other place I normally frequent when running errands. It's generally good advice to start slow, and wear something subtle such as a pair of jeans with a cute top and a pair of low heels or boots. An outfit that helps you blend in more can definitely ease any anxiety you may have about going out appearing as a woman.
Instead of talking about fashion or shopping today, I would like to discuss a somewhat more intimidating topic; presenting en femme around others. This includes everyone from your doctor, an old friend and even your mother in-law.
When I first began presenting myself en femme, I had a lot of fear about who would see and judge me for it. I only ever dressed up at home when I wasn't planning on going out, and even then I was nervous to do this around my girlfriend. I had spent the first 20 years of my life living the way society had expected me to. This resulted in an excess amount of fear and anxiety of others, even if they happened to be polite. That is no way to live for anyone.
To begin building confidence, you must continue to step out of your comfort zone and dress feminine as many places as possible. I personally began with places that we all go, the grocery store and any other place I normally frequent when running errands. It's generally good advice to start slow, and wear something subtle such as a pair of jeans with a cute top and a pair of low heels or boots. An outfit that helps you blend in more can definitely ease any anxiety you may have about going out appearing as a woman.
For some, being subtle isn't very thrilling especially when you've been wanting to wear skirts and heels your whole life. So for me, I push the envelope and simply wear whatever it is I want, regardless of the stares I may receive. I essentially never wear anything but heels, pantyhose and a nice skirt/top or dress when going out. This has certainly given me my fair share of judgement, however one thing worth mentioning is I have never received any negative comments about my appearance.
That's the beauty of being yourself. Most of the time, others will not go out of their way to ridicule you especially when they are complete strangers. At the time of writing this, I have only ever received compliments for the way I present myself. This is a tremendous confidence booster for all the men that decide to be brave enough and present their feminine side. It was mentioned in the comments of my past blog that being feminine "is the new alpha" and I can agree. It takes a thousand times more courage to step outside wearing a dress as a man, then it does to slip on a pair of pants and t-shirt just to blend in.
Around certain people though, you have to apply some self control. Some people have very old doctors, which probably wouldn't be very comfortable seeing you in a pink lace thong (like the beautiful Turbo Lace Picot Thong) while on their examination table. Others like your mother in-law, may be uncomfortable seeing you in a sequin mini dress with glittery stilettos. It's people like this that you may have to appease in your fashion choices just so the environment isn't uncomfortable. That is something I have found to be completely tolerable, as you only have to repress your femininity temporarily while around these people.
Granted, you should never have to change who you are for anyone. But there has to be a line we as men know when not to cross, for the sake of others comfort. This applies to your significant other as well. Never try to compete with your woman, or try to be more feminine than her. Not only is this inherently impossible, but it can also be a catalyst for some of her resentment towards you because she will always be the woman in the relationship. To put it simply, change it up now and then. Wear something traditionally masculine once in a while to remind her you are still comfortable as a man.
And if you are gay or trans, these things probably won't apply to you. So at that point, make your best judgement simply depending on your own situation. I'm not here to tell anyone how to live, I merely wish to pass on advice based on my own experiences. In the end, presenting en femme is a beautiful and courageous act and I applaud and respect all the men brave enough to do it.
So, that will wrap up this blog for now! Tell me all about your experiences; how often do you go out en femme, who you may or may not dress up around and anyone that might have made you feel uncomfortable while you were dressed. It's time for us to get some support in the comments.
Xoxo,
Nathan
31 comments
I have also had a professional makeover, just once, although I’m going to again because the results were amazing and made me feel so feminine. I dress up at home but only on rare occasions when I know for sure that I won’t be disturbed, or caught, but the effect isn’t as exciting or convincing as the professional makeover I had. Nobody else knows that I like dressing en-femme, I’ve never told anyone and have never been out whilst dressed up, and I don’t really understand why I enjoy it so much. That being said, I am planning and have booked another make-over for next week that includes an escorted trip to a crossdressing bar/nightclub. I am quite apprehensive about being out in public completely en-femme for the first time, but also really excited. I’m thinking about what look to go for on the big night and would appreciate any advice from others who might have had similar experiences. Currently I’m imagining myself in an ultra feminine look with heavy make-up, a tight fitting slinky dress and killer heels. I’d also like to shave my legs before the makeover but am not sure how I’d explain this to my wife, who doesn’t know that I like to crossdress.
Scott I feel u! I love my guy mode! Then mix it with femme clothes Keep on pushing the envelope
Hi all I’ve been dressing in lingerie stockings and tights and skirts and heels for many years now .I always get home from work and then dress in something that just make me comfortable and happy and just happens to be all the above mentioned.i have one friend that knows she found out about it 4 years ago and loves the fact I dress . I have no desire to try and look like a woman I never wear macup or wigs in fact I have a beard it’s obvious I’m a guy. I just love the feeling of wearing those types of clothes it make me happy. Last weekend I decided it’s time I ventured out into the big world dressed so I went to my local supermarket 5 inch black ankle boots burgundy opaque tights short grey and black skirt and knitting top . I walked right though town did my shopping and went home .not all the people I encountered were positive towards me but most were even if it just a nice smile or a simple you look nice and they are the things I focus on and I’m now looking forward to going out dressed again because your only get one go around so be happy
Scott x
Some great comments on here , I’ve already posted recent but just wanted to add I commend your courage for venturing out , I’d love to dress up and go out and love wearing these products , but it will never happen ,
At 53 I’m still unsure of my sexuality , I’ve always dated women , and never dated a guy , but would like one date to see what’s truly going on inside me but that will never happen either , so in my head as a fantasy it will remain , if anyone feels the same and wants an imaginary lover that they’ll never meet but stay in the closet and keep the conversation clean pop my initials in your blog SM
S Mitchell
Ally I feel u I figured myself out and now I m a male that loves feeling sexy in my lingerie and wearing toenail polish and heels etc I wear a little makeup 💄 So i m just me not what I thought i have to be because i like femme clothes Be yourself