By Princess Daddi (They/Them)
When did you first start wearing panties or lingerie and what motivated you to try it?
I’ve identified as gender-fluid and regularly worn women’s clothing in public since 2017, but I didn’t start wearing lingerie until a few years ago. I had always wanted to try it, but was admittedly scared of what my husband/other people might think. Eventually, I shared with him that I had been wanting to try lingerie, so as a gift he got me two sets from XDress. I immediately loved them, wore them around the house, and of course when we were being intimate. It was a very euphoric moment to be so clearly seen and embraced. Now, my lingerie collection has its own drawer in my dresser – and it’s almost too full!
How has your lingerie journey changed over time and how often do you wear it now?
I mostly wear lingerie when I want it to be seen, either when I’m with sexual partners who are excited by it, or when I’m out at underwear parties. I’m almost always in a thong – I do love easy access! I used to mainly wear bralettes and thongs, but lately I’ve been wearing a lot more garter belts and stockings as well, to put together a complete look. I’ve also experimented a lot with body stockings, which has been a lot of fun!
What are your favorite lingerie styles and fabrics and why do they feel right for you?
I love anything made with satin and/or lace! I feel like they bring out and embrace my personal femininity the best. The softness of satin feels electric on my skin, and the daintiness of lace compliments and accentuates my curves. As far as cuts go, I love anything that’s skimpy, but intricate enough to provide a feminine look/aesthetic/silhouette.
Do you wear lingerie every day or save it for certain moments and how do you decide?
Like I mentioned, I only wear it when I want it to be seen. To me, that makes it feel more special. My husband and I are in a very loving and supportive open marriage, and I have quite a few connections that love seeing and being with me in lingerie. It has genuinely improved my sex life and confidence to be embraced and desired in lingerie!
How open are you about wearing lingerie and who in your life knows about it?
I think at this point, anyone who knows me either knows that I wear lingerie, or if they don’t, they wouldn’t be surprised to find out that I do! I work as a gogo dancer in San Francisco, so I’m pretty much always out and about in a pretty little skimpy outfit.
How has wearing lingerie helped you connect with your feminine or softer side?
Like I said, I was openly non-binary for years before I started wearing lingerie. I was wearing dresses, skirts, jumpsuits, rompers – but always with a men’s brief or thong underneath. In a strange way, it reflected a deeper insecurity of mine. I had it in my head that I could be appreciated for outwardly expressing my femininity, but I could only be desired if people still saw a “man” when the clothes came off. Wearing lingerie helped me connect to my femininity in a more intimate way and bridge that gender presentation gap, so to speak. I am now much more able to connect with all parts of myself both in and out of the bedroom.
What made you move away from traditional mens underwear and try something different?
A lot of men’s underwear is, simply put: boring. I think we’re seeing a resurgence of colorful and aesthetic men’s underwear, but it’s often very expensive and still leans very masculine. And there’s nothing wrong with that! I’m gender-fluid, so I have a good mixture of men’s and women’s clothes, underwear, shoes, and accessories. The venture into lingerie was purely out of the desire to wear something that made me feel both feminine and sexy!
What advice would you give to a guy who is curious about starting to wear panties or lingerie?
Try it! Even if you are just wearing it for yourself. It may take a few tries to find a fit, fabric, and feel that is right for you, so don’t get discouraged if the first set you buy doesn’t quite look the way you wanted it to. Enjoy the thrill of wearing something pretty – it gets pretty addicting pretty quick! I would also encourage you to look on social media to find people who are into wearing lingerie. Finding and having a community that celebrates it makes everything easier and more fun and affirming.
How has wearing lingerie impacted your confidence or self expression?
In some ways, openly wearing and embracing lingerie has limited my sexual prospects. Men will be men, and some of them will stubbornly not look your way if they sense an ounce of femininity. Just know – those men are not for you. Because as I have experimented and explored more, the guys who like lingerie love it. And while I am not a full-time lingerie wearer, the experiences that I do have in lingerie are always my favorites, because I get to feel free and authentically myself.
What does XDress mean to you and how has it supported your lingerie journey?
XDress was the first men’s lingerie brand that I became aware of, or at least the first one that I truly considered getting for myself. It feels like “real” lingerie, which may sound silly, but it means a lot to me that it doesn’t have branding all over it the way many underwear lines do (to me, overbranding ruins the entire vibe of a garment). My first lingerie sets are from XDress, and I still have them and wear them regularly. XDress makes up about half of my total lingerie collection, which continues to grow every single day!
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