I flip through magazines and instagram, looking at what others have done, and then try to apply it to myself, with varying results. Do you have a go-to for styling ideas or methods? - Kiera
Comparison is the thief of joy, but yes, I can relate. When I first paged through an XDress catalog, my heart soared looking at the beautiful lingerie that was designed for me, but also crushed because I knew I could never look as beautiful as their models.
Over time I realized that I don't look like them, or like anyone else, because, well, I don't look like them, lol. I can't. I have a different body type, my face is a different shape, and I'm not the same age as most models. Once I (finally) realized this, I started to pivot and think about my own body and where my potential and possibility were. We can't always do what someone else does and get the same results.
For example! Makeup tutorials are absolutely addicting. They make it look so EASY. But remember that many of these tutorials are done by professional makeup artists who have been trained and are likely licensed. They know what they are doing because they are EXPERTS. The first time they did their own makeup it probably did not turn out the way they would have liked, and it certainly turned out differently compared to the hundredth time they did their makeup. Keep in mind that a makeup artist who is doing a tutorial is doing a tutorial for THEIR face, THEIR skin, THEIR facial shape and structure and skin tone. I am not going to use the same products and techniques as a twenty year old girl, with light skin and a heart shaped face and a tapered chin. If I used the same techniques and products, I am not going to magically turn into her. Her techniques and products are appropriate for her face and skin and color, not mine.
Instead of getting discouraged by these videos, I scheduled an appointment for a personalized makeup lesson. I was shown techniques and products for my face and skin. I learned what worked and what did not. From there, I was able to find my own style.
Clothes are not much different. I learned that although a dress or a negligee might be absolutely gorgeous and the person who wears it looks AMAZING, the item is not necessarily going to work for me. If the model has a different body shape and type than I do, the same clothes are going to look different on me. Many clothes are designed to enhance or minimize certain features. For example, I like peplum dresses because they create the illusion of hips... of which I have none. Someone with hips doesn't necessarily NEED this type of enhancement.
If you are not happy or comfortable or confident in what you are wearing, it's possible it was designed for someone with different physical features than what your body has. When shopping for clothes, be specific about your goals. What I mean is that I have fairly broad shoulders and a very rectangular torso. When I look for clothes I typically look for items that minimize these features. Spaghetti straps, for example, are not going to work if that is my goal.
Ultimately one must be comfortable and confident in what they wear. It took a little time for me, but I wear what makes me feel strong and beautiful. I wear dresses with thin straps even if they draw attention to my shoulders. Style is more than what you wear, it's also HOW you wear it.
Love, Hannah
The views and opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of XDress
5 comments
Sadly, I can’t develop my style. My wife accepts that I dress up in lingerie but has categorically told me that she couldn’t deal with it if I took things further. I know how lucky I am that she’s ok with me wearing lingerie and don’t want to jeopardise that, so I respect her perspective. I do occasionally go for a makeover with a specialist crossdressing makeup artist/stylist, which satisfies my desires to present myself en-femme, albeit only for short periods at a time. My wife doesn’t know about these escapes and I feel guilty about keeping it from her, but don’t know what else to do.
I love this blog! I have a couple things that helped me with a few things (lotsa mistakes along the way lol) so hopefully can be of use for others especially now that online shopping is ABUNDANT. Clothing Take your measurements like a woman would! Chest, waist and hips. There’s a size guide on almost every clothing description especially on amazon. Dress for body you have. Women come on all different shapes and sizes and all have beauty and sexiness. We are no different. Im a “curvy girl” and have found places like Torrid (example) to be an amazing treasure trove of awesome styles. As well as searching plus size outfits on amazon. Honestly we have a bigger body shape than most women and once I acknowledged that I have a phenomenal wardrobe. Makeup First practice, practice, practice. It’s JUST makeup and God made makeup wipes for a reason lol. There’s a lot of amazing creators on YouTube to help! Instead of amazing looks find THE BASICS. Im a “more mature bitch” and find lots of mature makeup techniques. Look for basic creators that look like you and mimic. I think I wasted sooo much time on finding ways to “camouflage” masculine traits that when I finally mastered basics it went EXTREMELY well. Always remember “relax, it’s just makeup”. Ulta’s or Sephora’s are an amazing resource and will color match you without question! It’s more common for a guy to go in there than ya think 😉 I hope this helps a little. Really it all comes down to accepting the feminine body you have. Not what the ideal feminine body is in ad’s etc. you are already sexy, just enhance it.
Great blog Hannah! I do not go “out” dressed up as I think I am unpassable. However, I may take up and try some of the suggestions you mention on the make up tutorial above! I cannot possible do that and always have it look terrible. Agree that style one clothes is also a personal choice and love the XDress offering!
I like reading Hannah’s articles. They’re giving me inspiration to XDress or dress as a woman.
Hi Hannah. There are so many gorgeous styles of dresses that I love but ultimately they don’t match my male body shape