Good day, dear readers. I hope this blog finds you doing well and enjoying your pretties. I got to thinking about the difference between men’s underwear and women’s panties. Even the very name suggests a sharp distinction – for men it is underwear and for women it is panties. Everyone knows men wear underwear, not panties. Although, women can refer to their underclothing as underwear instead of panties. It smacks at that same double standard that allows little girls to do typically guy things, like climbing trees and playing ball, but a little boy can’t play with dolls.
Men’s underwear is a rather boring topic – you can wear tighty-whities, or boxers. Hmm, not much variation there. I don’t know the reasoning behind the design of tighty-whities, but they look like a medieval torture device to me. I haven’t worn any in the last 35 years or so. I tried boxers a few years ago, just out of curiosity. I found the lack of support unsettling, and at the end of the day I took them off, only to discover that my skin was puckered around the waist line from the elastic waist band. I donated them to a charity thrift shop.
I suspect the reason men’s underwear is so limited can be summed up in one word; stereotyping. If a man wants to wear women’s panties, the almost immediate response I get is 'obviously he’s not straight' The reality is that the large majority of cross dressers are straight and in a relationship with a woman, according to every survey I have read. To have a feminine side is not an issue of sexual preference. It is an issue of sensing oneself as more than a binary male.
In recent years, the men’s underwear industry has experimented a bit with design and type of material, but you won’t find lace or bows on those “underwear”. Oh no, that would be as bad as a little boy playing with dolls! So, while they have experimented a bit, onward still they trudge with very limited choice.
Contrast the boring sameness of male underclothing to the amazing world of women’s panties. The colors, styles, type of material – what fun! Until I discovered XDress and Body Aware, I wore women’s panties and enjoyed discovering all the styles to find out what worked and what didn’t for my particular form. The only drawback is that the gusset is cut for a woman’s physique and is too narrow to support the needs of a man. It was a good day when I stumbled across a men’s lingerie boutique called XDress. Wow! Panties actually designed for men! I’m sure by now I qualify for the status of Preferred Customer. Why, they even have bras designed for men. Who would ever have thunk it? Many years past, I had a choice of tighty-whities or….thighty-whities. Now, for many years, every morning is fun – what pair of panties shall I wear today. It is fun every day!
In years past, before the advent of the internet, I thought I was alone in this. If you are in my age group (as in cross dressing before the internet) I’ll bet you thought you were the only one too. If anyone discovered I was wearing panties, they probably would have hidden their children from me.
Well, we do have an internet now, and the fact that there are boutiques such as XDress and Body Aware certainly does away with the notion that there are only a few of us strange men who like to wear panties and bras. They wouldn’t have been in business for over 20 years if that weren't true. No, we aren’t just a few. We are the folks that like lace and bows and satin. I have an idea – remember when the feminists had bra burning parties? Why don’t we have a tighty-whitie and boxer burning party?
So much for my thoughts. I’d love to hear what thoughts this article might have stirred up for you. Let me hear from you. In the meanwhile, enjoy those panties!
Fond regards,
Angie
55 comments
I feel the same way, why is it that a woman can walk into a mans closet and put on his things from underwear to his suit and tie, walk out and go to work, but if a man walks into the women’s closet and puts her things on he is labeled as gay or transgender, it is changing but not fast enough for me.
Man bag murse purse
I use my man bag every day
I get a lot of pushback but also get statements like I d love to carry one
They are very functional
For dress up times i d like a coach bag or nice bag from the girls side of the store but haven’t had the guts mainly because i want to stay manly for my wife
I ll keep using my man bag i have several
One of my fav things to do
Wear a nice sexy bra panty set
Skinny jeans from the women’s side
A white blouse (black tank over the bra to cover it)
When home i put on my suede pumps, in public i wear boots
I would like to throw in my two cents (or pence) worth, as the co-founder of Xdress with my wife Kristina, back around 1990. I can attest that in the USA progress has been slow in gaining acceptance that men be as free as women to wear what they want. We started the company just outside of Bath in UK, as a side business to Body Aware, our European styled underwear for men. At the time we were experimenting with using different fabrics for men’s briefs and we tried stretch lace, and it proved so popular that a whole range that came to be known as Xdress (originally we called it Apres Noir) was born. There was tremendous publicity for our “outrageous” concept, that we had national press and television coverage throughout the early nineties until we moved the business to California.
The publicity was not necessarily all positive, but mostly it covered us in a light, humerous way. Showing male models wearing lingerie on the BBC and national newspapers seemed like a major step forward. We even won a “Best new business” competition on TV. It all came to a screeching halt when we moved to USA, and a very negative appearance on the Sally Jessy Raphael chat show was enough for us to realize America was not ready for men in lingerie and we declined any further TV appearances. So while the UK acceptance of men’s lingerie was almost instantaneous, it took a decade in the USA to reach a market of similar size to that of the UK. We persevered, and with the support of our many regular customers, the business is now on a firm footing, and growing each year.
Fortunately the tide is now changing quickly, and especially among the younger generation, there is considerable acceptance of brands like ours, and those who wear our lingerie. We have occasionally supplied lingerie for TV and theater productions, but so far had no famous actor or sports star offer to be the face of Xdress, but we are still hoping!
We recently opened a UK distribution center again and it has been amazing to see so many old and new customers coming to buy from us. We hope more UK and European customers will join in the blog discussions, to make it truly international.
Best wishes,
David
Xdress.com
Hi Guys and Gurls,
Great rant Nathan. Long but well worth reading your comments and thoughts. I am one of those pre 80’s born pantyboys. Thought I was the odd duck and guys would never dare wear PINK in those days. The good news things have changed considerably. I actually think things will change even faster now that we have so many ways of reaching out and communicating. Just look around. Perhaps it depends where you live but I see young men wearing very feminine attire, even women’s dresses and skirts, in public here in the Phoenix area. Makeup is becoming so much more acceptable. Ten plus years ago I was carrying a purse (called man bag then). Today many of us carry them. Recently my wife purchased me a woman’s purse for Valentines day. Fairly large and very fem but I can and will get used to carrying it in public. That would have never worked 20 years or more ago.
PS. I love all the things us gurls can stuff into a larger purse.
Keri
I agree with your comments Nathan. You are 100% correct. We have been victims of stereotyping and societal norms for too long. Maybe this will change, but the change is coming very slowly. An example-now it is common for men to wear earrings—myself included on that one. Also another way I have seen norms change is that there seems to be more men—myself included also on this one—carrying purses aka man bags. With all the stuff we have to carry around—wallet, car keys, cell phone, cigarettes(I am a smoker)—etc it just does not fit into pockets anymore. I will admit that I do wear make-up sometimes—usually on the weekends-and see other men buying it as well. Also, I have been getting my nails manicured for years.
I think these are some ways that society and the norms are changing albeit slowly. All it will take is some high profile male celebrity to start talking about wearing lingerie or a scene from a movie or television program to start a change in thinking. Who knows, maybe in a few years it will be normal for a guy to touch up his lipstick after a meal?!
A forum like this is great to share ideas and thoughts. In reality—What really is all the fuss about? It is my life and I am going to wear what I want that makes me feel comfortable and happy—even if that means wearing lingerie, wearing high heels and a skirt, carrying a purse, putting on eye make-up, touching up my lipstick, and getting a manicure. My mother did not mind me doing this—she actually encouraged me—and my boyfriend is cool with it also!
Just a few thoughts Looking forward to more discussion!