Who Told Us How to Dress?

I’m really excited to be invited to write a guest blog post here; everything about Xdress, this brand, this lingerie, makes me happy. The stylish, bold photographs, the stunning designs, the beauty. And it also feels a little “naughty”, a little taboo, a little or a lot different. Yes, even in 2022.

And why should that be? Who created the “norms” of who should wear what? Is what is considered “acceptable” today different from the past? And if we desire something different, how does that get created?

A brief google search reveals what I intuitively knew: the gender distinctions of who wears what are comparatively new, as are ideas such as blue for a boy and pink for a girl. In the past, men have sported skirts, dresses, togas, as well as high heels and make-up.

And then it all changed. It was in the Victorian era that the delineation of clothing by gender became more defined. It went so far that some US cities even made cross dressing illegal, in the nineteenth and early twentieth century.

Thankfully, this seems almost inconceivable now, and we have a new phenomenon where many people desire to free themselves from gender roles, and gender delineations, and this is reflected in the fashion scene where there is a trend towards gender-neutral.

XDress' Eco Ribbed Cami & Panties

There is another interesting dynamic here. It seems that women choosing to wear men’s clothing has always been more socially acceptable than vice versa. Throughout history, there are instances of women dressing as men in order to have the societal freedoms that are afforded to men. Generally, men are “higher” in the social hierarchy, so women choosing to dress as men is somehow seen as an advancement or a betterment. When men dress as women, this can appear the opposite, and cause suspicion and confusion. And of course prejudice.

Beyond this, a woman wearing her husband’s shirt can be sexy. Actually, this reminds me of borrowing my Dad’s shirts when I was a teenager, and this was in fashion – and definitely sexy. There can sometimes be a sense when a man wears a dress it’s something a bit ridiculous, and far from sexy.

Of course, this is not so with Xdress underwear. The way this underwear is presented, the way the men are being as they pose is bold, different, daring, unconventional, unapologetically sexy and actually in a way exciting. These pictures, this “advertising” is so challenging to the “norm” even nowadays that there are several social media platforms that push back against allowing Xdress to advertise.

When something is so different that it is banned, this often comes with a fight against the mainstream,  a resistance and reaction to the norms – a bit like a teenage rebellion, or a “F-you” to the establishment - we will have our lacy underwear, we will be different, and you can keep your normal ways of dressing and behaving and die of boredom!

This violence, this force, and antagonism in the expression of the difference can create reaction and violence from the other side, which leads to repression – which of course we are so familiar with.

When I look at the models in XDress photographs, what shines out for me is the models’ enjoyment of the lace, the thong, the tight fit, the bra,………………My sense is they know they look good, and they enjoy that too – and not from a sense of “superiority”, just from a feeling of confidence that their choice in underwear gives them. They know what works, they know who they are, and they actually don’t care what other people think, positive or negative.

And when I say they don’t “care”, this is from the space of so enjoying what they are choosing and being true to themselves that not only are other people’s opinions irrelevant, they don’t have the need to even wonder what they are

XDress' Purple Valentina Panties & Bra

The underwear is an invitation just to enjoy life. So, wearing clothes to decorate the body while making the body feel happy and alive, does not have to be the sole domain of women. XDress’ gorgeous, sensual fabrics, unique colors, and unusual designs are an invitation to opulence, luxury, hedonism, and enjoyment.

And my point of view - as with everything in life, what’s the point if it’s not fun? What’s the point if it doesn’t feel good? This underwear is an invitation to truly enjoying the feel of the fabric, the luxury of satin on your skin, the decoration of lace. It is somehow saying our bodies are important, enjoyment and hedonism are valuable, our bodies deserve to be given sexy, attractive clothing, whether we are male or female, gay or straight, and whatever the prevailing ideas about clothing are.

And my sense is that through this bold, unapologetic choice to be different with underwear and clothing, with luxury and enjoyment, acceptance will follow. Other people who may secretly desire something different in their clothing will feel enabled and gain the courage to go for it. Even if things don’t change as quickly as we might wish, at least in the meantime, those people who desire something different can have it, even if they are not allowed to share it on social media! 

 Fiona, Guest Blogger