I truly enjoy contributing to these blogs, appreciate the comments, and I hope that they create thought provoking changes in your mindset. I realize along my journey of reading and writing these blogs it has done many things for me. It has made me realize that I am not alone, there is nothing wrong with me, and that I can build my confidence to share my stories, and hopefully in turn, inspire others to do the same. All we can do is try.
Something recently that has come to mind is what would “she say”? There are many when I have read comments on the blog that they truly enjoy the feeling of wearing lingerie. The enjoyment of the feeling it gives them, it lets them experience the feminine side of themselves, but yet they hide it away from their significant other. Now, understandably so. With my former spouse of many years, if I would have expressed this aspect of myself to her, well, let’s just say that the divorce proceedings would have come a lot faster than they did. I’ll leave it as; I wasn’t allowed the freedom to be myself. Judgment proceedings would have been swift, and the stories around it would have followed. How people love to tell stories. This was the past.
Let’s move into the present, and how I got here. When I met my significant other that I am with now, I made a commitment to myself that I would only be with someone who accepted me, for me, panties and all. (no warts involved). I made a commitment to myself that I would not settle, not hide, and to be with someone who I could share all of me with. Why hide a part of me that found joy, sensuality, and freedom. My way of expressing it is mine, but it truly has no meaning until it’s shared. So, early on when dating, I decided to pull off the band-aid so to speak (place holy shit here), and over a face-time video as I was out of the country, I told her that I enjoyed wearing women’s panties. Then, I waited for the response. Time stalled at this point. To which she responded, well, I would like to see it and experience it for myself and then decide if this was something that I would enjoy and accept. Thus, it was not a no. (place whew here) At that point, I knew that I was dating someone who was opening minded enough to at least consider accepting all of me. So, the journey began. Truth be told, she went to XDress online shortly after and ordered me my first pair of blue Valentina panties. Which we now dub as “the originals”.
Fast forward, she has possibly bought more lingerie on XDress for me than I have. We have gone to brick and mortar stores and bought matching lingerie. Each and every morning when I am home, we pick out each other’s bra and panty sets in the morning and have them at the ready when we get out of the shower. Often, we get ready in the morning together in our bra and panty sets in the bathroom. We have matching nighty and panty sets for bed. The request has come on numerous occasions for me to do a cat walk for her. When the new satin skirts came out from XDress, she was like… so??????? I will say that our intimate times together have gone to a completely new level. If I decide to put on a skirt and clean the house, she decides that cleaning the house is no longer a good idea. You take it from there.
So, to my point. For you are out there, and you know who you are, and if you decided to open up, be vulnerable, and be completely honest with your significant other, what would she say? Do you think that you will be pleasantly surprised by her response? Do you think she would be aghast at the idea? Would you have to explain that you are not gay, you love her, but have a feminine side that needs to be expressed? Would she understand? What would it look like on the other side of one simple question? I know that I have read about the situations where it has worked brilliantly and taken their relationship to a new level. I don’t think that I have read the alternative on these blogs. Would love for you to share your stories. Communities support and learn from each other, why don’t we do that? So, what would she say???
WB
23 comments
Eddy That’s the best outcome. Sharing with your significant other. Having no secrets and your SO accepting all of you brings incredible intimacy. Deeper love and full freedom to be open in all parts of your life can be a benefit as well Get your lingerie on! Stevie
I often wondered about this very question and due to my uncertainty over what the answer might be kept my habit of dressing up in lingerie a secret for many years. My hand was forced one day however, when my wife unexpectedly found me dressed in her lingerie. She had come home early from work and walked into the bedroom where I was busy admiring myself in the mirror wearing her panties, stockings and suspenders, bra and heels. She was clearly shocked and I was horrified and utterly embarrassed. She said quite a lot! And had many questions. I tried to explain and answer her questions as honesty as possible. The interrogation seemed to last hours as I stood there still dressed up the whole time. After I had explained that, no, I wasn’t gay or trans, and was completely comfortable with my own gender, she accepted my explanation that I was merely a man who gets a thrill from wearing women’s underwear. We didn’t discuss the issue for at least a week or so afterwards, but then she raised some more questions. Had I been doing this for long, how did it make me feel, does anyone else know, etc. I explained that I had only ever done this in private and had only started experimenting with lingerie relatively recently (this wasn’t exactly true! but I thought it the best possible answer from her perspective). I told her that when I wear lingerie I get a thrill and feel excited and sensual. I was still feeling extremely embarrassed about her discovery but, to my surprise, she asked me if I could dress up again that evening, but this time not in private but for her to experience too. I readily agreed and spent the afternoon deciding what to wear. That evening we both enjoyed the most exciting and passionate time together. I kept on the lingerie I had dressed up in throughout. Since that day my wife has encouraged me to experiment further and to buy my own lingerie and heels. I now have a drawer of my own full of satin, lace, stockings, etc. Crossdressing in women’s underwear is no longer my sordid secret. My wife is now a big part of my love of wearing lingerie and we continue to push boundaries, something we both seem to be benefiting from greatly. I’ve just ordered a maid’s dress and am really looking forward to surprising her when it arrives. My crossdressing has become an exciting addition to both of our lives, I hope that continues.
Eddy
I’m looking for this when I will have the opportunity. My actual fiancé, first girlfriend I shared my collection of heels right after our first kiss, is very open mind, sometimes a bit too much open. She encourages me to be myself, and we went to a masked ball with me wearing a dress, the sex after that party was the most intimate and intense sex I ever had. I work with tourists, I visit some idyllic places worldwide, I’m creating courage enough to enjoy this side of myself by myself since she not always there with me. L.
Gus Do nothing If she says something say I got a gentleman’s makeover. If she pursues more, introduce the idea of the metrosexual.
Hi Gus. That is a bit of a predicament! It made me laugh, but at the same time I really feel for you. My advice would be to come clean about your secret crossdressing alter-ego and be honest about your new eyebrows, with the benefit that you’ll be able to keep them shaped in the feminine style that you seem to like. I’m guessing that advice might not help as you clearly state that you don’t really want your wife to know about your crossdressing. Another option might be to merely pass it off as an attempt to look nice for her. You could get your hair cut into a different style too and explain that you wanted to surprise her with a different look, hence the hair and eyebrows. She might even approve and then you’re home and dry?!!!
I’d like to know what you decide and how it goes.
Good luck