Undercover Lingerie Buyer

I am very interested to see how many men have gone to a brick-and-mortar store to shop for lingerie for themselves?  Have you thought of going, and then talked yourself out of it?  Have you ever gone to the lingerie store, looked around, and were too embarrassed to actually buy something for yourself?  How about, making the purchase, then asking for a gift receipt, or asked for it to be wrapped making it look like it was a gift for someone else.  If you have gone shopping for yourself, have you had a cautious eye to see if people are watching? Have you made a rushed decision so that you could get out of there faster without being “discovered”, only to find out that you bought the wrong size, or found out that the “fit” didn’t really fit, then felt disappointed with the purchase?  Or the quick buy, when you discover that the fabric you thought looked so nice in the store, doesn’t feel so nice when adorned, and now you are at the office, which will make for a very long day.  I wonder if there was a bead of sweat trickling from your forehead when you got to the cashier nervously making your purchase?  Did you go to the store at Valentine’s or Christmas, because then, clearly that purchase wasn’t for you.  What if someone at the office, or a neighbor saw you? What would you say then?  Any of these situations sound familiar?  

My girlfriend and I went out this summer to buy matching lingerie; matching satin lounge pants, nighties, and satin robe to go over top.  Now, if you looked at the sizing, it was obvious who’s was who’s.  The woman behind the counter said, oh, matching outfits, and gave me a look, when my girlfriend jumped in saying “yes, Brenda is going to love it”.  I did wonder if I would have jumped in and said, yes, we are going to enjoy them very much.  Secretly, I think she had figured it out.   We went out shopping today, and I was wanting to get a longer flowy skirt (I love skirts), and a top to go with.  If asked, I was going to tell the salesperson that we were having a themed dinner party, and that I needed to get clothes for the event. But no salesperson helped us, so, alas, I was not able to use my little trick.  I’ll keep that one in my back pocket. Use it if you like.  I must admit that when I have shopped for lingerie for myself, my girlfriend has been with me. Now, I got to take my time to pick out what I wanted.  It wasn’t always that way, but at least I always had an out. 

Here's the thing. I think that it would be fair to say that most men would feel nervous or scared purchasing lingerie for themselves in a brick-and-mortar store.  And yet again, I wonder how many don’t go buy what they truly want.  You know that you want it, you know it would be a bit of a thrill, yet you stop yourself from getting what you want.

Now, if you are reading this blog, you obviously found this site.  I admit that finding the XDress website was a godsend.  First, reading these blogs allowed me to not feel so alone in my journey, second I could purchase sexy lingerie from my couch, third, I found lingerie that actually fit properly (for obvious reasons), and forth, my lingerie arrived in plain packaging.

What is also great about the XDress site is also the selection of lingerie that is available, plus the consistent new items with varying colors and styles.  I am personally very excited about the new satin line, having a matching satin bra and panty set, and then having a satin skirt to complete the outfit. That makes coming home and dress up something to really look forward to.  Kudos to the XDress team for doing such a great job to give us men, and their significant others, the opportunity to fulfill our desires to wear pretty and luxurious lingerie.  You give us the time to pick what we want, get the right size, experiment with things that you not have otherwise purchased, such as bras or garters, with zero stress.   

What will you buy as an undercover lingerie buyer? As always, I appreciate your thoughts.

– WB


Another excellent topic. I completely see myself in everything that is exposed here. Without a doubt, it was uncomfortable at first. However, as the years went by, my confidence grew and I timidly started to buy my lingerie in a specific store. Over time I gained trust with the owner who knows perfectly well that the lingerie is for me and today we are good friends and confidants. She knows perfectly well what I like, the sizes I wear and whenever she receives new collections she is kind enough to call me. I can either try on what I want in the store or often bring it home and try it on and then either deliver it or exchange it for the most suitable size. I often go with my boyfriend and I like him to give his opinion on whether he likes it or not. I bought a bikini online that I liked, it was the first time I did it and it went well. One day I want to try Xdress, I love your lingerie. Kisses. Francisca.

Francisca December 05, 2023

Thanks for this topic. I have bought panties and lingerie at stores that catered to “alternative” sexuality a number of times—years ago there was a place in DC called Dream Dresser Boutique where a lot of crossdressers went. Only a couple times (and very nervously) at main line department stores (Macy’s, VS). But this blog is encouraging and I’m very glad to have found this site.

Mark November 14, 2023

What is so nice about your blogs is that you some times will come across a situation where some else experienced the same thing.
In regards to Dan’s experience with the dermatologist! My situation was similar. When I normally visit my dermatologist, I just have her examine me from the waist up. On this visit, when asked if I wanted the full body examine, I said sure. I was aware that I was wearing some powder blue women’s bikini panties but they could be worn by men/women. The assistant handed me a white cloth robe and instructed me to leave my underwear on. That is when I realized I was wearing WOMEN’S nylon panties! They had the blue bow on the center front as well as the picot lace trim around the waist and leg openings. With the assistant watching, they had me lay back on the table at which time the robe opened up. The doctor actually used her fore finger & thumb on the center bow and actually pulled the panty away from my body as she looked and “shaved” area! I will say I was embarrassed as they now were looking at me in women’s panties and just being shaved. Of course, neither of them said a word about it.

Ron November 09, 2023

Thank you everyone for contributing to this blog. It is so great to see so many people engage and tell their story. Hopefully it gives others the insight and courage to keep moving forward. I have to proudly say that “I did it”. My girlfriend was away, and I decided to go shopping for myself. I went to a local lingerie store and looked around to what I wanted. The clerk asked if I needed help, and I confidently said that I was just looking around. I found what I wanted. I pair of satin sleep shorts and a matching cami top. I picked it out, went to the till and paid for it. Now, I got home, and found out the cami top didn’t fit. So, the next day, I took it back, and said to the clerk that it didn’t fit and was too small. So, I went back to the rack where I bought the first one, and thankfully they had a larger size (XXL). Took it to the til, made the x-change, and strutted myself out of the store. Confidence just went up! Bam! Please keep this blog going with more stories.

WB November 05, 2023

I have bought myself quite a few items for my feminine wardrobe from stores now, although I admit to getting a little nervous and have never asked to try items on in the fitting room. However there is something thrilling about shopping for your own girly stuff.
I have purchased dresses, skirts and tops from high street stores and I’m lucky that my wife and I take the same dress size so I’m able to just buy the size that fits her and know it will be ok.
I am not a fan of Bra’s made for men as I prefer an underwired Bra which most men’s Bra’s are not. So have to buy them from a store. I have always managed to buy them without any problem although I’m sure the girls on the till know they’re for me.
I have found my size to be a 38B which my pecs fill out nicely and if I want to put breast forms in for a curvier shape I know they will stay put and push me up to a C cup.
I have found buying women’s clothing easier the more I do it and really don’t care what anyone thinks anyway. My advice would be to be brave and just front it out life’s too short.

Debbie October 24, 2023

I always wear lady’s knickers that I have bought myself. I have over 10 dresses either maid uniform dresses or lady’s working dresses and of course I have petticoats, corselletts, suspender belts and stockings most of which I have bought myself and in many cases tried them on in the shop. The staff are not bothered they just want to make a sale

Angela Brown October 22, 2023

I actually outed myself without even thinking recently… I walked into Honey Birdette (a high end lingerie store for those who don’t know), I had found a set online that I loved and was planning to tell the sales woman that I was shopping for my wife. When I walked in, I confidently asked where I could find the set I was looking fo… bra, thong, garters and a set of thigh high stockings to finish the set… the two girls at the counter casually asked “is this for you or are you shopping for someone.” Without thinking I answered that I was shopping for myself… now I am not easily embarrassed so once I realised the answer I’d given I simply went along for the ride… the girls were absolutely wonderful! They adjusted my sizing picks a little and fully measured me up in a private change room… they also brought a few other sets that they thought I might like to try on… BEST experience of my life and I’ve already been back to buy more. For those of you who can easily go with the flow, I would encourage you to simply tell the women who you are shopping for because once they know, they are discreet out in the open and so so so helpful when it comes to trying things. It feels like I’ve opened a whole new world to myself shopping in person!

Andy October 12, 2023

I have been doing this a long time off and on, over 40 years. Other than the Sears catalog you had no choice but to shop in person, I now enjoy both shopping on line and in person. I currently serve a femdom Mistress, We have shopped together, it is a thrill. we have had our nails done together. But yesterday I faced my scariest moment. A dermatologist appointment with a new younger female doctor while wearing panties. (Mistress did not feel it was a big enough deal to let me off the hook. I was hoping they would ask me to strip completely but they asked that I strip to my underwear. So I met my new doctor with my totally waxed body and wearing a baby blue thong. The doctor immediately sensed my nervousness, and told me I could relax and she would do the entire appointment without her assistant. She tried but could not hold back her questions. I told her about my Mistress, she seemed honestly open minded and curious. Because she needed to do a biopsy she asked if I wanted a cover up because she would need her assistant. I gritted my teeth and told her it was ok to allow her in.
Probably the most honest doctor interaction I have ever had.

Dan October 12, 2023

I can relate to this article and to all the comments, I have been wearing lingerie and panties for the past 30 years +/-. And even still to this day am nervous to go into a brick & mortar store. So I have had to shop online mostly. I don’t have the courage to shop in a store and try in there to see how it would look and fit.

K October 10, 2023

I want to thank everyone for their comments and contributions to this blog. Stevie, I agree, it’s created a lot of buzz, which is fantastic. Let’s keep chiming in. It’s great to hear everyone’s stories!

WB October 09, 2023

So glad to c the comments! Looks like this topic created a lot of buzz. Before I found websites like xdress I would go to VS on holidays like valentines day and Christmas or my anniversary and buy lingerie! Bras fit but thongs didnt so I stayed with high leg briefs Any way now i use the internet and could not be happier. There are so many choices I wear panties and bras and thigh highs in the winter fall I wear light makeup and always keep nail polish on my toes I rarely go to brick and mortar stores but if i did i m confident enough to say its for me Dress on my lovelies Stevie

Stevie October 09, 2023

XDresser, 3 years now. Late bloomer. I LOVE going to the stores and buying my own things. I had all those feelings at first. Walked out many times empty handed, rushed a bad purchase, looked around to see who was “looking”. I try to shop at stores where I’m not likely to be recognized but I’ve also just had bold moments where I would dare anyone to say something. Now, if I could just get the courage to try something ON at the store. Everything I’ve bought from XDress, btw is among my favs! Wonderful clothes. The wig I bought is my fav, too! I love to see more frilly robes in the inventory. TY for the blog. Great topic.

Myka October 09, 2023

I’m a straight guy, now 41 who’s enjoyed wearing panties since being a teenager. I used to shoplift them from clothing stores I worked at. I also have a deep kink for BDSM and being dominated by women. I eventually got old enough and developed the courage and incorporated my kink into dominatrix sessions. To eventually work up the courage to buy panties and bras in Victoria’s Secret, I’d pay more money to have a girl with me as an escort. This developed into wearing bra and panty sets and then lingerie sets with garters. I’ve full blown cross dressed in a few sessions but I like wearing only lingerie or bra/panty sets more. It’s easier than ever these days to be able to discreetly buy this stuff online. Unfortunately I’m terrified of being kink shamed by girlfriends and so I’ve kept it a secret in personal relationships. I’ve even gone so far as to open a P.O. Box for my deliveries in case packaging wasn’t discreet. I wear boxers as well most of the time in public but enjoy wearing panties under my clothes going out on occasion. I love all kinds; Satin, lace, cotton, briefs, thongs, you name it. I prefer pink, black, white and red. In fact cotton white briefs were originally my go-to fetish and this has expanded into a full blown collection. But like I said, unfortunately most women do not seem to like this, which is frustrating.

C October 07, 2023

I have gone to some of the stores and twice I just picked out what I wanted and it took me a half hour to finally pay for it and leave. As I walked out the girl who the cashier came out and handed me a card and she told me to call her we got married six months later

Crespin October 06, 2023

I have felt all those same feelings when going to a brick and mortar store. I have been Xdresing for over 3 years now and at my age I’m (75) not concerned with what others think.

I love shopping on XDress and do love the satin items they have come out with.

Jim October 05, 2023

Great blog!
I’m sure we’ve all been there at some point-I can certainly relate to just about point made!
The worst thing was actually biting the bullet, going in, buying, then discovering that the bra or panties which looked so inviting either didn’t fit or were so uncomfortable….
Not having an SO does put you on the spot, but since I discovered breast forms I’ve found it much easier-well easier anyway! I try to wear them as often as possible, and always if shopping for lingerie-somehow it seems easier to talk more openly to the sales teams about lingerie for yourself-especially bras, when it’s obvious you’re wearing forms. And there haven’t really been any awkward moments-everyone has been helpful, sympathetic, and it’s just so lovely to have an open conversation-that makes the whole visit worthwhile.
Best wishes to all

Georgina October 05, 2023

I really do not think it is that that big of an issue today as it was back in the day. With everything being so gender fluid, and Xdressing being so much more acceptable today. Not so many years ago society made you think it was wrong/strange or something to be embarrassed about not so much now. I remember being quite nervous/scared/embarrassed years ago when I was only buying just panties at VS or other brick and mortar stores with or without a partner. I will say though it is much easier to buy today at a brick and mortar store (still mostly just panties, because I don’t/can’t pass nor do I want to try), but haven’t interacted with salespeople. Given a chance/need to I would like to think I would be comfortable to. I don’t shop at brick and mortar stores much, mostly because Xdress and other online sell stuff that just fit much better when they take into account the male anatomy.

David October 05, 2023

I have bought a neon pink bra and garter from a lingerie shop with my partner present. Thankfully the shop and girls were LGBQTI friendly and were quite understanding.
I bought knee length healed boots from a Op shop and the woman there made a scene saying “you know those a womens boots?” Very loudly across the length of the shop so everyone could hear it. I said “So!” But my partner said “i have the same size feet, he’s trying them on for me” i was quite imbarrassed still.
I have had nasty things said by other shoppers just for touching panties looking in department stores.
I am affraid to try panties on in the shop because of the looks i will get going into the change rooms.
I must say though the women that see the satin gear from Xdress are in ore of how pritty the garments are and how good the look on me. I run adult parties so I can (cross dress) or be me really “genderfluid” and parade around in my Xdress lingerie.

Damien October 05, 2023

I do it all the time. Love to go shopping for thongs, bikinis, bras, panties, blouses and whatever is on sale. I do it openly. No need to feel ashamed. I love female underwear so much and for the past three years I have only worn panties. I wear bras at home and if I’m going out of town. Would love to wear them all the time, but they would show through my clothes. I love tight-fitting, ass cheek-cutting panties that hold everything in place. Love that feeling.

A.D. October 05, 2023

After buying for long time, lingerie, online, I wanted to go to the real store and buy for me, some sexy lingeire. Almost all the times, there was an nervious feeling at the shop, but it came from the salewomen or the other women around and it was bad experiences. One or two times, I was the first customer at the shop and it was much nicer. I miss this a lot

Yaniv October 05, 2023

I love going to a brick and mortar store to buy lingerie and dresses for myself. I enjoy going to a store where the sales people really want to help you. They always ask what size does your lady wear, and that’s when I say it is for me which surprises them a little. Once they get over the surprise they are more than willing to help. I even had the sales lady measure me for a bra. For me it is very exciting to purchase and try on women’s cloths.
You still can’t beat xdress

Divid October 05, 2023

This is a great blog! I have never been ashamed of shopping for lingerie but have made it appear as though it is a gift for someone else. It just seemed easier that way. I have left disappointed after the purchase by a poor fit or fabric and regret not trying it on first, although I don’t typically try on underwear, I just buy it. I do like the variety that certain stores offer, big national stores, that have a broad selection, not only panties but also lingerie. However, I do like XDress better as by twig and berries usually spill out of women’s panties, especially thongs or Tangas. XDress should consider brick and mortar locations as I would think it would elevate the game and offer a broader acceptance within the “normal” community. I would maybe start with P-town, MA as they have a broad offering of stores there that would allow XDress to “fit right in”. XDress is a great site and I am very happy I have found it. I enjoy the selection and fit of their items. I like how they are open to suggestions for new product! Satin is THE BEST in my opinion and love it! Thanks for the blog! Great topic!

Scott October 05, 2023

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