In no way do I believe that the way I feel about cross-dressing is the way everyone who cross-dresses feels. And that includes people who are born male but identify as female or those that are on a male to female transition journey – we all have our own feelings. But I find a simple happiness in recognizing, and accepting, that I find it all just so exciting!
And what’s wrong with that?
I don’t ask anyone to accept my preferences for wearing lacy and satin underwear and stay-up stockings. I’m kind of OK that the majority of the world won’t accept my cross-dressing as ‘normal’. To an extent I would feel comfortable going about my daily business dressed ‘en-femme’. Heaven knows, it might even feel less exciting if I got to do it on the daily amongst others!
The excitement of wearing gorgeous lingerie, skirts, tops, heels and make-up (I can’t get used to wigs) began, for me, at an early age – like it did for many of you, I guess. It remains today. I’ve purged, I’ve tried to control my feelings – but it comes back just as strong. And why should I resist?
Our old friend Aristotle thought of a life of pleasure as enough for a good life or a life well-lived – alongside a life of honour, wealth, health, or eminence. Take your pick. Some psychologists suggest a good life is a mixture of pleasurable, meaningful and varied experiences. Others say that hedonic goal pursuits (e.g. having fun) may be just as important for our well-being as long-term goal pursuits (e.g. learning something new to get a better job).
On that basis, a little of what I fancy ought to do me good!
In truth, I wonder if I can even justify - as if I need to – my cross-dressing as something that puts me in touch with my feminine side. After all, what is either feminine or masculine about clothes?
Do I wear women’s clothes? No, I wear my clothes. It’s just that most people probably associate my clothes with those mainly worn by women – whereas Aristotle and his friends probably knew a thing or two about wearing a skirt, or ‘a chiton’ as it might have been called.
Do I feel feminine when I wear my lingerie and dresses? Well, how would I know what feeling feminine feels like? I’m not even sure what feeling masculine feels like. Do women spend their lives feeling feminine any more than I spend my life feeling masculine? Probably not. Although, there seems to be a lot of evidence to suggest that people have a male or female experience of the world, I think that’s probably a little different to feeling either masculine or feminine.
Maybe what I do in cross-dressing is construct my own feminine ideal and find that exciting to occupy for a little space of time. I find it hard to imagine that, in general, women feel as excited as I do when dressed in what they wear on a daily basis. However, I can also imagine that some women might do.
British artist Grayson Perry has said that people accept his cross dressing because he is an artist – he’s “allowed to be weird”. At the same time, he accepts that attitudes towards him might be different if he were a banker. Though in no way should this permit intimidation, aggression and exclusion towards people that harmlessly digress from societal norms.
In day-to-day life I’m probably more banker than artist. My dressing remains hidden, subtle, or in accepting company.
I don’t want to tell you what the reasons for cross-dressing are or should be. It’s good enough for me to be excited by the looks I can create. A creative act or even a delusional one at times – I’m no cat-walk model. Should it matter? Like any craft it takes time, practice, and experimentation to create a satisfying work.
Do you need to find reasons for what you do? Or is it enough discovering the fact that 'It’s All Just So Exciting!'
Justin
34 comments
Hi Sissy, That’s my dream come true, I would love to have a partner pick out panties and lingerie for me and make me wear them. I think the desire to be “forced” to wear panties is deep down a way to absolve my guilt about going against the norm. The fact is I don’t like traditional male underwear, I think they are ugly and bulky (although I do like some of Bodyaware’s sheer briefs), and I honestly don’t see why women seem to prefer men wearing them versus something that is attractive, even pretty. My ultimate dream would be to be made to dress up in a full sissy maid’s uniform!
Dear Justin Thank u for the new blog. So much in here it mAy take 1 or 2 responses to get it all in. Why do we crossdress? Why do I crossdress? Like you said for me it started early. It then became sexual. I never thought of it as tapping into my feminine side as I m happy being male and masculine in the traditional sense. After going down the rabbit hole of thinking something was wrong with me and several purges at 50 I said wait i gotta figure this out Well I didn’t! But I did come to accept this I like wearing pretty lingerie and dresses skirts etc. I like feeling sexy and the clothes do that It’s nothing wrong with it I can be male masculine and wear lace panties and bras and stockings and heels What an awesome topic Get ur lingerie on Stevie
Hi Justin! I love this message and I am so happy you get so much joy out of wearing pretty things! My child, who is fourteen, is non-binary and bravely pushing the envelope of what is “acceptable” clothing to wear as a masculine-presenting person. I feel this new generation is very different from my own and it seems as if they have more relaxed ideas of what is ‘feminine’ and what is ‘masculine’ which is an absolute joy to see.
I feel sissy when wearing panties mistress picks out for me everyday. Bitchboy leather collar also.