In no way do I believe that the way I feel about cross-dressing is the way everyone who cross-dresses feels. And that includes people who are born male but identify as female or those that are on a male to female transition journey – we all have our own feelings. But I find a simple happiness in recognizing, and accepting, that I find it all just so exciting!
And what’s wrong with that?
I don’t ask anyone to accept my preferences for wearing lacy and satin underwear and stay-up stockings. I’m kind of OK that the majority of the world won’t accept my cross-dressing as ‘normal’. To an extent I would feel comfortable going about my daily business dressed ‘en-femme’. Heaven knows, it might even feel less exciting if I got to do it on the daily amongst others!
The excitement of wearing gorgeous lingerie, skirts, tops, heels and make-up (I can’t get used to wigs) began, for me, at an early age – like it did for many of you, I guess. It remains today. I’ve purged, I’ve tried to control my feelings – but it comes back just as strong. And why should I resist?
Our old friend Aristotle thought of a life of pleasure as enough for a good life or a life well-lived – alongside a life of honour, wealth, health, or eminence. Take your pick. Some psychologists suggest a good life is a mixture of pleasurable, meaningful and varied experiences. Others say that hedonic goal pursuits (e.g. having fun) may be just as important for our well-being as long-term goal pursuits (e.g. learning something new to get a better job).
On that basis, a little of what I fancy ought to do me good!
In truth, I wonder if I can even justify - as if I need to – my cross-dressing as something that puts me in touch with my feminine side. After all, what is either feminine or masculine about clothes?
Do I wear women’s clothes? No, I wear my clothes. It’s just that most people probably associate my clothes with those mainly worn by women – whereas Aristotle and his friends probably knew a thing or two about wearing a skirt, or ‘a chiton’ as it might have been called.
Do I feel feminine when I wear my lingerie and dresses? Well, how would I know what feeling feminine feels like? I’m not even sure what feeling masculine feels like. Do women spend their lives feeling feminine any more than I spend my life feeling masculine? Probably not. Although, there seems to be a lot of evidence to suggest that people have a male or female experience of the world, I think that’s probably a little different to feeling either masculine or feminine.
Maybe what I do in cross-dressing is construct my own feminine ideal and find that exciting to occupy for a little space of time. I find it hard to imagine that, in general, women feel as excited as I do when dressed in what they wear on a daily basis. However, I can also imagine that some women might do.
British artist Grayson Perry has said that people accept his cross dressing because he is an artist – he’s “allowed to be weird”. At the same time, he accepts that attitudes towards him might be different if he were a banker. Though in no way should this permit intimidation, aggression and exclusion towards people that harmlessly digress from societal norms.
In day-to-day life I’m probably more banker than artist. My dressing remains hidden, subtle, or in accepting company.
I don’t want to tell you what the reasons for cross-dressing are or should be. It’s good enough for me to be excited by the looks I can create. A creative act or even a delusional one at times – I’m no cat-walk model. Should it matter? Like any craft it takes time, practice, and experimentation to create a satisfying work.
Do you need to find reasons for what you do? Or is it enough discovering the fact that 'It’s All Just So Exciting!'
Justin
34 comments
OMG I’ve just stumbled upon a Cristian prayer web site intended for people to stop crossdressing, nothing against them but, I’m past the point of no return, there’s nothing better than I Like than wearing some sexy lingerie, stockings & suspenders, miniskirt, & high heels. I just love getting ready doing my makeup hair etc. & going out to find a real man.
I’m just a dude in a dress. I don’t identify as a sissy or a cuck. In our relationship humiliation is not our kink. I don’t wear makeup or wigs. I don’t want to pass. For me it’s about a feeling. I’m super sensitive to touch and textures. Women’s clothes have always felt soft and silky. The first time I remember trying on women’s clothes was when I was about 3-4 until puberty my mother “allowed” me to wear her underwear and some of her clothes. It was never spoken but she knew and would make sure I could find her softest silkiest items. To this day I get a sense of peacefulness and tranquility when I wear lingerie or a long flowy dress. I like to prance in heals and my wife like the way they make my ass poke out. I LOVE YOYR BEARDED MODELS. I get tired of only seeing the effeminate twinks. Brovo xdress brovo. Wes The dude in a dress
It started in my early teens, I loved sneaking into my sister’s room putting on her bra panties and panty hose. Then I moved to my mother’s underwear putting on her panties and girdle I just love the way I look in women’s underwear and I love seeing other men in panties.
I love the open and frank discussions about x dressing.
Being bi sexual allows me to experience the best of both worlds. Interestingly, it’s men, rather than women who enjoy my x dress panties, thongs and strings. Whilst a woman may comment on the style or colour, men generally are quite indulgent about their preferences sometimes of a sexual nature, the thrill of seeing a man in gorgeously designed underwear often becomes arousing for them and me.
For me, this aspect is one I frankly adore. In reality, there is a feminine side to my choice of underwear and the pleasure I gain from openly exhibiting myself to others.
X dress long may you continue to produce excellent men’s underwear and the joy it brings to so many.
I’m a 35 yo male , Aussie bloke actually! . Since the age of around 10 i used to go through my mums panty draw and wear them . She found them in my room from time to time which was embarrassing. I’m now married and since day 1 I’ve said to my wife I liked ladies Panties . I was honest and my wife accepts it and even buys me lingerie from time to time . I wear all kinds of panties to bed as my sleep ware . Finding the most comfy ones was difficult but Xdress makes that easy . I have so many pairs it’s not funny . I don’t label myself as a xdresser gay or bi I’m a straight guy who likes Lacey undies .